Effect grieving has on your health

Hello, it’s been nearly 4 months since my husband passed, the grief has been unrelenting, every time I take 2 steps forward I end up taking 5 steps back. At first I felt ill and exhausted and crying all the time. Now a week ago I had pains in my lungs and fever. It was scary when I couldn’t breathe and I ended up in hospital with pneumonia, I don’t even have a cough, very strange. Thankfully covid test came back clear and I stayed in for a few nights so they could administer intravenous antibiotics. I was so upset because I always had the support of my hubby when I was ill, always by my side. Back at home and recovering now but my grief is overwhelming again. I think this pneumonia came on because my immune system is low. Just needed to share as I know so many of you on here have probably experienced something similar.

Good morning Margarita. I’m so sorry you’re feeling the pain of grief. So many people and books talk about the emotional side of bereavement but not so many talk about the physical side. I lost my beautiful son 2 years ago and I’ve never known grief like it. And it takes a toll on your health for sure. I’ve had chest pain, panic attacks, difficulty breathing, neck pain. And my memory is awful. It’s hard for you being ill on your own when you’re used to your husband’s support. I found life became very scary after my son died. Your body will heal from this flu, be gentle on yourself, get plenty of rest. The grief unfortunately is here to stay but it will change over time, I promise. You will have longer spells in between the waves. I wouldn’t call them good days just days that are better than the bad ones. Please message me anytime you want to share your feelings. Hugs :rose:

I am so sad & sorry reading your words, am totally with you & sending you both love and strength & to all of us suffering xx

With you. Fully understand. Often read on here that grieving is hard work. It’s so true. The time you ought to be getting the best food and the best rest and some peace to deal with that work, you get the exact opposite. I really hope things improve for you soon. Less steps back.

Hi Margareta.
Hope you got my msg
Sorry it was bit late or early morjing i sent you private msg
Hope your doing ok
S47 x

Dear Orchard, my heart goes out to you, losing your son must be agonising, Im so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain you must be in. Thank you for your message and kind words, yes I’m just trying to get stronger every day and I just want to feel like me again. As everyone on here says, step be step, day by day. I too hope you find the strength at this terrible time, :pensive: Margarita

Yes I did thank you I have messaged you back

Thank you for your kind words

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Dear Rach25, thank you for your kind words, all the best to you too.

Oh Margarita
I know exactly how you was feeling. I too was taken ill and ended up in hospital just weeks after losing my husband. I had never been in hospital, even had an appointment before and I have never felt so miserable and upset in my life and spent most of the night and days crying and just wishing I had Brian to come home to. I felt I was being pushed over the edge and asking what God had lined up for me next. I had cared for Brian single handed and with all the sorting out of paperwork I was worn out completely.
Our immune system has to be at it’s best but unfortunately who cares when first grieving.
Take care and look after yourself.

Dear Pattidot, how awful for you, being on your own after your loss and sadness must have been terrifying. Also your grief must have doubled with its relentless emotions. Yes, we do question why God has thrown us such difficult times, I pray that he let’s up not just for me but for you and all poor souls that are suffering as we are. Thank you for your kind words and stay strong God bless :cherries:

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Hi Margarita Thank you, I also pray for all these good people on the forum and hope that one day we will find some peace. Never forget of course. You also stay strong, it’s all we can do really to get through this troubled time. Take care of yourself that is of the utmost importance. Our immune system must be kept strong to get us through.

So sorry for your losses
It will be 14 wks for me on monday i worry sbout my health my head is constantly thinking of him why this why that the pain in my chest comes and goes the other week i hardly ate i am on anti depressants ibe experieneced grief before lost my dad 4 yrs ago but this is worse but your partner is a different relationship he was mine i was his no one else would understand but yes i worry about my health especially been on my own now with a 12 yr old xxx

Dear Fg15, I’m so sorry for loss and your grief is still very raw, it must be so hard especially with a young daughter to support and care. It really is the worst kind of bereavement losing your husband, nothing quite prepares you for the emotional upheaval it causes. All we can do as everyone on here says is to take a day at a time. If you need more help then maybe speaking to your doctor might help. Take care hugs Margarita🍒

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Thank you today was tough as my daughter turned 12 but i held it together suprisingly
I miss him so much it hurts every day x

Oh bless, your daughter must miss her daddy so much, and of course you will take the time you need to recover from this awful time. I’m thinking of you. Well done for making it a good day for her. Sending hugs x

Thank you
You take care too x

A couple of months after my husband died I found myself burning up and then going extremely cold.I could hardly walk and my temperature was sky high.My daughter called an ambulance and I was taken to hospital.They gave me antibiotics and in a day or two I was ok.Then I started having cystitis and was ill again. Since then I have had problems in swallowing and on the anniversary of Ron’s passing I had a terrible headache all night.I have never had any illness but I think my immune system is at rock bottom.Grief is a strange thing.

Dear Angiejo1, grief really affects our health in an awful way. Because it’s such a shock to our system, I have mourned family members but losing my husband was the worst I have ever felt in my life. I hope you are taking care of yourself and making sure you eat properly etc. I wish serenity and peace for you. X Margarita

Thanks Margarita.Yes I am eating ok and generally feel ok now.I hope you are looking after yourself too.Take car and God bless.x