I’m 62 live in Nottingham. Lost my husband when I was 60. Married for 40+ years. We were soul mates. I miss him everyday. If I lived nearer I’d suggest we’d meet up to support each other.
Take care 
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@Ladysuisei6
My whole world ended the day I lost him life is now so meaningless no hope no dreams just exist day after day 
.
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@Deb5 well I might have done but we were in my dad’s house !! I haven’t gone back to the flat yet . I couldn’t believe it when he came out with that 
Take care xxx
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@Angel1309 neither can I tbh . He’s. Changed since his wife got pregnant - my DIL has been an absolute horror . So nasty . Again since the pregnancy not that it is an excuse. She’s not seriously ill - I despair
Sending love to you
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You got it spot on ! I been given same advice cos my children give me a hard time too since their dad passed away xx
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@Angel1309 i totally understand what you mean . My life feels pretty pointless these days. Without Baz I’m not a complete person anymore. We were so right for each other and he was wonderful. I expect you would say the same if your husband too .
We never had any particularly grand plans , we were just content being together,
I still can’t believe he had to go
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I think what he has said is disgusting
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@JackieJ oh that’s really thoughtful. So you’ve not been in this dreadful situation that long either have you .
My partner was forever 59 when he died and I was 58 at the time . We had been together 20 years but met 40 years ago and had a brief relationship then . We were destined to find each other again . Like your relationship, we were soulmates and now I feel life is over . I moved out of the , rented house we shared because I found it traumatic there . A week before he died he fell down stairs injuring his shoulder . He went to the doctor about this and in the surgery suffered a massive cardiac arrest and the doctor couldn’t save him . I’m in a small flat now which I also hate ! I don’t think I’ll settle anywhere until I’m back with Baz for eternity. I haven’t interred💔 his ashes yet - they are still being stored . I’m in denial really about the fact he’s gone . If I don’t deal with his physical remains somehow I can ignore the fact he’s gone . In any case in my will I’ll specify that our ashes are combined and interred together. So I’ve yet to organise this . In fact my son promised to help me , which is another reason why it’s not been dealt with yet . All these things are so horrible aren’t they . I have my memories the will always be carried in my heart
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I know exactly what youre saying … its like being on a rollercoaster … ;( xx
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Hi, sorry for jumping in on this, but after reading your comments I can totally see that your son, by the nature of his reply, response and treatment of you certainly displays traits of NPD. His refusal or non-interest of getting a diagnosis or even looking into it, again, unfortunately is a trait that someone who has NPD will display. Failure to take responsibility, failure to show empathy, void of caring about other’s feelings. His coercive behaviour towards you and “gaslighting” about something that is totally out of your control is at best unkind, but at worst so very cruel. Just when you need his support he “chooses” to make you feel guilty to the point of you questioning yourself and your feelings and therefore contributing to closing down that bond as mother and son.
You have decided, quite rightly, to protect yourself with a bit of “self love.” Not talking about or dealing with your grief in front of your son, I’m sure will be very very difficult, but there will only be one person that gets hurt in this situation if you tried with him, and that won’t be your son. He is not capable of this emotion.
You indicate that there are others things that point towards his likely NPD, look back and try to address these things. I’m sure you will find your own answers and conclusions when doing this.
I’m so sorry you are going through this, I lost my dear Dad on Oct 1st 2022 and my grief is still palpable. I miss him so much and still can’t accept he’s gone. There is no right or wrong with grief, there is no time limit, there are no rules.
I wish you peace and much love. Reach out to the ones who care and try hard to not worry about the ones who are unable to. 
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just so awful. I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. Just heart breaking sending more strength and love
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@Ladysuisei6
I am in Bristol, but I go to Chepstow & Cardiff fairly often. Would be happy to meet up for a coffee, you are more than welcome to let every emotion pour out with nothing but empathy and love coming back to you.
Losing your life partner, the one you were supposed to grow old with is incomprehensible. Its unchartered territory, its just so hard to get through each day, knowing the next one is gonna be the same. Please know I also understand about the entitled kid syndrome, if I hear “why aren’t my feelings being validated” or “you are ignoring my right as a human” bollo*ks one more time I’m literally going to go insane. Our world is producing idiots. xxxxx
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@TeresaPJS well I have suspected this for quite a while now . We have mental health issues running within our family too . I don’t know if it’s inherited.
He’s made this period of grieving absolutely unbearable and it’s bad enough already. He is intentionally being cruel which is the worst aspect of this and he’s changed over the last year . As if this shock has triggered something perhaps . Idk if it works like this .
When he was a teenager he had anorexia and self harmed so I’ve always been aware that he’s vulnerable to mental illness.
I am deeply affected by the loss of my partner and my son’s inability to react in a decent way has made me so unwell . I could say I’ll never forgive him for this , but of course I will .
I’m really sorry that your dad has died . My mum died 2 years before my partner, making this last 3 years absolutely heartbreaking
Take care xxx
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This makes for VERY interesting reading and could shed some light on things.
https://www.joincake.com/blog/how-does-a-narcissist-deal-with-death/
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@TeresaPJS oh so you’re pretty close to me then . If and when I feel a bit better maybe a coffee would be good . It’s ages since i been to Cardiff. I’d normally go places with my partner because of my lack of confidence, so I’ll have to see .
Life is a very scary place right now I find , especially as under normal circumstances my son would take me places to make sure I was ok . Not now though
Sending you love
Xxx:broken_heart:
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Hello when l lost my daughter my son who had not been speaking to me did not support me emotionally in any way.
It is only now after 3 years he is supportive and we are building back a relationship.
Our sons sound very alike. Mine is now 42 . That generation are very entitled and political.
I hope this will make you laugh. He used to call
Me the food nazi. Similar wording eh.
Dont look to him for support. He needs to grow up as does my son.x
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@Peanutbrain oh no that’s heartbreaking as well . What on earth is wrong with these adult children . I asked my son how he expected me to be , what sort of grief he expected considering I’d lost the most important person in my life and he said “ sad “ . “Sad” ? Sounds like what a child would say . I only speak to him once a week presently and if he carries through his threat to stop me seeing his new baby due end of March ( my only grandchild) things will be changing. I haven’t decided what I’ll do , but I will make changes in my “ relationship “ with him .
I’m pleased you’ve salvaged something with your son xxx
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Oh my goodness, I could not imagine life without my Son in it. We have such a close bond it would be devastating. I truly hope i never find myself in that unenviable position. Inam truly sorry you are both estranged. My dear neighbour who lost both her parents within 2 years of eachother has been blocked from her Son and 3 young grandchildrens life, the reason: his wife lost her mum and doesnt want him to have his mum around. She is devastated, as I can imagine are the two of you. I am so sorry. People can be so cruel and tbh evil. 
@Ladysuisei6 I totally understand that you are uneasy/nervous/scared to go out. I suffer from depression which can be debilitating sometimes. I’d be happy to meet when you feel you are able.
I have signed up to a “befriending service” with Help the Aged. My dear Dad, who I miss terribly, was just so interesting to talk to, as were all my grandparents. My maternal Nan lived til she was 99 and wrote a book at the tender age of 76!! Old people are incredible. Maybe you could possibly do this.
Anyway, both of you @Ladysuisei6 and @Peanutbrain take care. Big hugs all round xx
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