Being the only son to my mum, has made a heavy weight for the time of going through anticipatory grief before and then after the event of my mothers passing. My mum was a wonderful person and I have been preparing for her tributes for her remembrance cremation which is this Thursday.
I realise that I am not alone as many of us suffer loss of a loved one. We go through pain and many emotions. Also we find it hard to say to people about our bereavements. I thank you all for taking the time to read and sharing of experiences to make us all have strength to deal with loss.
My condolences on the passing away of your mum. It is a difficult and heartbreaking time.
I can totally empathise with your loss. My mam passed away 16 weeks ago. She was 82. For the last three years she had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Me and mam lived together 60 and a half years.
I have really struggled since mam passed away. Mam was the centre of my world and i was the centre of her world. We went everywhere together. I have never lived alone, but have been since mam’s passing.
There are lots of people on here who will support you and offer kind words. Keep posting your messages.
My sincere condolances to you for the sad loss of your mum. Thank you for sending me such a nice message of support.
I love to hear that you speak with so much love and caring towards your mum. She was so important to you and you to her. The mother and son relationship is special and I had that with my mum too.
My mum was 82 years old also, I had lived abroad for many years but I chose to come home to live with her and Dad three years ago. I am so glad that I did spend this time with her taking her out shopping and going to the garden centre, and having a laugh with her.
My mum had a fall on christmas eve then had an operation on her shoulder and afterwards a brain stroke. She was very brave, but had no mobility on her right side. In the end she was in a care home in bed and knew she couldn’t get better. She didnt suffer too much and was very peaceful when she passed away.
Thank you again for your message and kind support. Our mum’s are still with us everyday, in who we are as people.
What a lovely thing to do to be back with your beloved mam and dad these last three years. I bet you all had some wonderful times and made lots of happy memories.
So sad to hear about your mum’s fall and subsequent stroke. It is heartbreaking. It is good to hear that your mum’s passing was peaceful. Just like my mam’s. She was in hospital nearly 3 weeks. I was there from 9.00am to 9.00pm every day. Mam had a bowel blockage. The consultant tried three times different ways to remedy it without surgery, but they didn’t work.
They would not operate. She was 82. Had COPD and Alzheimer’s disease. I begged but he mentioned palliative care. Mam loved our house and being at home. She was truly happy here.
She kept saying to me in the hospital. Stephen, when can I go home? Well I got mam home. It only took one and a half days to organise.
Mam was home 9 days under palliative care before passing away. I was happy to have her back home and mam was overjoyed.
Thank you for your kind words and message. I think your mum and you and your dad did remarkably well caring for and looking after each other. Please feel free to keep in touch when or if you feel like it.
As you said, our mums are with us. We carry them in our hearts, our memories and our DNA. God bless and sending you all my kindest regards and best wishes.Stephen.
Blessings to you Stephen ! Thank you for sharing more about your mam I think you are amazing what you did to be by her side. I am so glad to know your mam came home for the last days she was happy for that .
In the end I spoke to the doctor and said that when my mum is not well not to take her to hospital and keep in the care home and authorise medications for palative care if needed. It didn’t come to the stage where she needed morphine so she was not in pain in her last days. That was a big blessing for her and I believe God took care of her, since she was a lovely kind lady.
Thanks for your support Stephen. Look after yourself.
I did the same. I was living abroad when mum was diagnosed with AlzheimerS and decided to come home. I ma glad I had that time. She was in her early 60s then and died a few weeks ago aged 78. I am so angry for her that her last years were robbed of her, but glad we had some time, though not enough. Sending lots of strength to you!
Thank you for sharing your message. I wish you much strength too. With the grieving process we can feel very mixed emotions that we didn’t have enough time with our mums, but we should be good to ourselves and we came back to be with them. Blessings and take care of yourself.
Hi
I send condolences. Your mum was lucky to have you and enjoy the time you had together. Sadly not many have that.I have met some lovely people on here who have devoted there life’s to there mums/nans.i know sharing experiences make you feel less on your own.
Your circumstances sound very silmar to mine. I see you wrote about anticipation grief. I worried about my nan for years before she passed it’s arwful.She had dementia and it really was so sad.
My nan had a fall from someone pushing her in a care home and broke her shoulder. She was never right after that and went very frail. And then a year later passed away from a mini stroke TIAS ( she had many over periods of time) and she went end of life care at 81. Did you mum have vascular dementia?.
I find if I’m not sad about the illness I’m then terrible sad about the loss.
Hope the ceremony went as well as it could it’s a terrible time. But also a time to connect with them.
Take care
That’s a long stretch of illness which I’m sure she fought for so long as she had a good family supporting her.My nan had dementia for 11 years. It really took its toll with anticipation grief all along the way. Each change feels like such a huge loss. I feel her last years were robbed it’s like imagine how they would have been without the illness. I’m so glad though I had all those memories as we still managed to have a laugh.It’s the cruelest illness there is. My poor Nan.
May they be at the highest point and be at peace.
Yes it is such a cruel illness, my mum had Alzheimer’s and I feel like I had several losses over the years, several stages where she disappeared even more. The final 2 weeks was the most painful, just waiting. At least know I know she is not in any pain or mental torment and your nan is at peace now too.
Yes it is true, I am very glad I came back and had the time with her if very brief and not really her anymore. I won’t ever regret it! Thanks gor your support, it’s comforting to know I am not alone