Hi all, I lost my mum and grandmother Christmas eve and Christmas day to covid. It was very sudden, both went downhill hill very fast. I’m a only child and have no children. I lived with my mum, we co owned our house together. My father died when I was 28 he was 47. I have only my dad’s 2 sister left in my family. My mum was 64. I’m 45 now and I’m alone in life. Me and my partner of 6 years have just split up. I have grieved for a parent before but this grief feels so different. I have not cried much ( which makes me feel guilty)but it feels like I’m not in charge of my own thoughts anymore. I seem to bounce from smiling thinking of fun memories I had with my mum and nan. To being so very angry about anything and everything. Then feeling I dont want to live without them to trying to find a reason to go on. And then feeling very positive about everything. Its like my thoughts just bounce from one to another constantly racing. Leaving me feeling drained. I sit in this empty house alone. It feels like even the walls are sad. Where there was laughter and joy now there is only sorrow. I haven’t really talked to anyone about my feeling. My friends are kind but I feel no one really understands how I feel. I dont, when my father died of cancer. Thats all I felt was great sadness. This is so much worse. I can’t seem steady my mind. Has anyone else felt this way?


Hi, that is exactly how I feel like madness has set. It quite worrying and exhausting. I can’t say I’ve felt anything like this before.

Hi @Carolanndutton

I know how you feel we all understand on here, my dad died on the 5th of Jan this year to covid. You are right people that haven’t been through this loss don’t understand, friends try to support the best they can but until you lose someone to this nobody fully understands.

I really hate covid for taking my dad to soon, some days I cry all day other days I feel a little better.

I have never felt pain like it in my life.

I am the same age as you and thinking of my life without dad in it is hard. I am looking after mum and my family the best I can and sometimes we find things funny and from no where my tears start to fall again

In time we will remember all the beautiful memories we have are our loved ones, and we will smile again its just going to take time

If you ever need to talk please message me


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I’m so sorry for your losses, how terrible to lose two people so close together.
I can identify with a lot of what you’ve said.
I lost my Mum 11 weeks ago. I’m 52, an only child and my Mum was a single parent. I don’t have children either.

My emotions are all over the place and I have to tell myself to stop analysing them and just go with them. I think it’s your brain’s way of trying to make sense of the terrible loss and also trying to protect you.

Feel free to message me if you need to chat.

Take care xx