Empty

I lost my husband just 6 months ago, the day before full Covid lockdown. His death was so sudden, unexpected and horrendous. We had been together for 46 years and married for 42.
I have two grown up children who both have young families of their own. Both have been brilliant and live local to me. When he passed, I think things were so un-natural in this outbreak, we arranged his funeral etc over the phone and only close family were allowed. Sorting out his clothes and various bills, savings etc. occupied lots of time.
Now I just feel empty and lonely. I don’t think I am depressed, although others beg to differ. I try and get on with life, taking the dog for walks, cleaning, dressmaking, puzzles etc.
But, I just feel empty…Nothing enthuses me. The thought of Christmas fills me with dread. On my wedding anniversary the kids and I went away for a few days.
I know time is a great healer but I feel worse now than when it actually happened.

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I’m sorry to hear the loss of your husband, sound like you have a great family who are supporting you through this.

But nothing can fill the empty, loss or alone feeling. Mine is worse at nighttime just to have him here to talk to, eat dinner with.
I feel I miss and think about him more each day that passes. Keep strong
X

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So sorry to hear of your feeling empty,must be so difficult when such a large part of your life has gone ,not just for a break but forever ,bet you want to contact him ,hear him ,do something you would do as a couple ,I even miss Eileen having a bad day and taking it out on me ,in hindsight she didn’t mean it but was part of her ,can’t wait until I can join her ,nothing else at this moment comes close ,love both my kids and they are so worried but they don’t fully get MY emptiness although they probably are suffering very similarly,hope given time the feeling of being empty is overcome
Steve

Thankyou both. I keep getting told it’s still early days. I am quite proud of myself as most things have been sorted but life feels it will never again feel the same. I miss hearing his voice and chatting with him. Life is lonely …

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You should be proud, he would be too.
Life won’t be the same and I don’t think I will never be the same person, but how lucky were we to have and made such beautiful memories with them.

Keep strong, take small steps x

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My husband passed away 3 years ago November, sometimes it does feel worse as time goes on, other times not so bad x

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I have only joined today. I lost my husband of 42 years in June. Although ill from massive surgery the previous year I continued to be hopeful for his recovery and he passed away suddenly. I read your post and feel exactly the same as you do! Some days are better than others but it is so hard without him.
It has been such a comfort to read others feel like I do.

Hello 1978, I am so sorry for your loss. Strangely we do find comfort in knowing we’re not alone in our suffering. Just to know there is someone out there who knows how we feel, who understands. I hope you keep reading others’ posts and join in conversations if you wish. Sending love xx

Thank you so much Crazy Kate, I have been struggling along and today I found this site. It has been good for me to realise I am not alone and I am so grateful for your kind words and love xx

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Your situation is so similar to mine 1978, I lost my husband suddenly in June after 40 years of marriage. I feel like I have had a part of me cut off, we did everything together. I have no idea how I have managed to get to October, you just have to take one day at a time but it is so hard isn’t it. Take care and stay safe xx

Really pleased that you are not constantly down in the dumps with it ,I will settle for a mix as I accept I am not going to be the same man as I was ,I so miss my wife and our future but I am probably nearly 3 years behind your journey
.Steve

Thank you Toondale and Stevet for sharing that with me. So comforting, I felt frightened of my future at first and still do at times especially when something goes wrong. Toondale we must have been and still are at similar stages of this grieving process.
I have 2 grown up daughters and don’t want them worrying about me as I know they are grieving too so try not to admit to what I am really feeling. Funny how we protect them. However, as you say, I miss him so much but have been so blessed to have had such a lovely husband.

I think all these feelings are natural …my main man went suddenly four years ago and I still feel an emptiness… Time does bring a sort of acceptance but no one’s ‘journey ‘‘is the same,. The gap will be there and in a way we would not wish it to be rubbed out . I feel for you and your young family … They will often be a reason to keep on carrying on.Take care of yourself…this is something I’ve learnt the hard way. Hazel M. And yes it does sometimes feel worse as you get fewer necessities to occupy your thoughts .

Thank you HazelM. So kind and thoughtful of you. Just to know that everyone feels this sense of loss and emptiness is of great help to me.