Endings and Beginnings

Yesterday was Tom’s first anniversary. The end of a year without him. I am currently in our home in the mountains in France. By a remarkable coincidence, last night the village organised a torchlit descent in memory of absent friends. I stood on the terrace, overlooking the route taken by the skiers as they made their way down, illuminated like mountain sentinels. I talked to Tom, and felt him to be very close by. After the last skiers come in, I headed inside, out of the freezing cold and into the warmth of the kitchen. Immediately I was surrounded by a sense of finality, of completion, of ending. In that moment, I am certain that Tom was telling me it was time to live on. That the debt to suffering, pain then death and loss that I have been paying, variously, since November 2020 had gone and instead, a huge credit was in my account, to live. I awoke this morning feeling the same. I look out at the resort and know that it is my home now. Tonight a whole bunch of Tom’s friends are coming here to recall his company, his sense of fun, his kindness and his generosity. I will celebrate him with them with a full heart - and the knowledge that he has given me my freedom in so many ways. I go on, always loving him, never forgetting him but knowing his wish for me is life in all its fullness. And you know what, I am going to do just that. Stay well friends, stay close on here as we need each other as we go. None of this is easy - but it is better for me knowing I have your friendship and your support. I hope your days go well.


What a beautiful statement Vancouver, I do hope you can go forward with peace in your heart. You’ve been there for many of us & we all appreciate it & just wish now we can get to the place where you’re emotionally & physically at.
Peace & Love to you always xx :heart::heart:

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Wow what a wonderful thing to experience. And you have written it beautifully. Your home place sounds such a lovely place to live and your strength shines through for us all to see.I wish you all the love in the world. You are truly blessed to have wonderful friends who are with you helping you get through everything and I am sure they have helped you reach where you are now. For me it’s a bit different I only have one close friend and she lives 50 miles away so it’s telephone chats and texts and on line messages that keep me going along of course with this wonderful site. The atmosphere last night watching the skiers must have been so lovely.How lucky you are to have witnessed all that.
I am at my mam’s house at the moment and can feel her here.It is so comforting for me.O am not anywhere ready to move on yet as mam only passed on Dec 30th but it is uplifting to know people do feel different after a while Thank you for sharing and god bless you x Deborah


As always @Vancouver you have written an amazing piece to inspire many of us. Thank you for this and so many of your posts. I felt much in need of a lift tonight as I’m having a bad night.

I truly hope you will move forwards and keep us with you on that journey. Sending much love. xxx

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Wow , just WOW.

This is where I want to be.

If you had love then you know that you’re free.

What else would they want.

Go tell it on the Mountain.


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