Everyone else ‘carrying on’

Hello,

I’m just reaching out for some advice…
I lost my best friend & Mum just over 2 months ago… very quickly. Cancer. She was only late 50’s.

Day to day my grief changes I have better moments than others but on the whole I think I should be proud of myself and how I am ‘managing’ - having a 2 year old little boy has got me through in many ways. But of course I’m still very much in the early days of my grief however I’m really struggling with everyone else around me ‘carrying on’

In particular my husbands family… his parents, his grandparents…
I’m finding it hard with his parents cause neither of them have lost a parent I feel irritated they have no idea of this pain I’m feeling.
There very social together as a family unit I can’t bare it.
I’m sure there being sensitive towards me and my situation but there lives haven’t changed. I feel they forget how mine has.

My husband is a wonderful person & it’s hard for him to know what to say or do neither of us have ever experienced loss.
I don’t want to offend him by saying I’m struggling with ‘life carrying on’ particularly with your family. But My world has stopped.

I don’t even know what to say to him to help me I just feel he’s slipping back to everyday life that’s how he wants deal with it (as I acknowledge he was close to my mum he’s lost too) but it’s not how I want to cause I can’t. All I want to do is dwell on my grief and sadness for now and not socialise like I’m ‘ok’

Hope that makes sense & I don’t sound like an ungrateful person.

Thanks in advance

*edit not that it makes any difference just realised it’s 3 months ago since she’s gone. I thought I’d be fixated on ‘time’ since but I guess the weeks/time just mesh together in one lump.

Hi Gina_89,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your best friend and mum so recently. Your loss is still very recent and must be extremely raw for you, so it’s understandable that you’re struggling with everyone else carrying on as ‘normal’. On our information pages we have an article about coping with bereavement, which talks about common things people experience after a loss - there may be something in there that helps you and makes you feel less alone in your grief.

It sounds like it could be helpful to talk to your husband about how you’re feeling, even though I know it can be hard to figure out what to say. It’s important to be honest and let you husband know that whilst you feel that you’re managing with some things, with others you need time. I’m sure the people in this community will be able to give you some advice about this - there are many people in the same boat as you here.

Take care of yourself and keep talking to us if you feel it helps.

Best wishes,
Eleanor
Online Community Manager

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