Ex wife makes me feel insignificant

I met my boyfriend in March 2018 and we moved in together in July 2019. He was diagnosed with cancer in September 2019. We had a wonderful life together he had two kids from his previous marriage and I had my son from a previous marriage. We bought a house together in March of this year. He started to get sick and went into hospital in August and was there until he died on the 2 November. I’ve been in so much pain, my head has been going through a range of emotions and thoughts and it’s been really hard. During our time together I was so in love and I took lots of pictures and videos of us and our blended family and posted them on social media as you do. We didn’t get married as he only just finalised his divorce when we bought the house and he was separated for 5 years before I even met him. He also never made a will as we didn’t think about it until it was too late but he wanted me to be his beneficiary. After he died I realised al the implications of him not having a will and on top of the grief I am now scared of my future. I’ve been trying to be good to his ex wife as she is the mother of his kids and his mother and sister, but it is starting to feel like they want to take everything away from me. I have given them all his paperwork and stuff he had saved from when we were not together and things he saved that his kids gave him.
Today his ex wife came to my house and told me to not tag him in my posts on social media anymore. We also have been sorting out the funeral arrangements together and I put lots of photos and videos of him in there but she said it’s too much and he had a life before me. She asked me about the house and I said that we paid everything equally I couldn’t afford to live here on my own. I’m feeling like I was just a blip and was not worthy of my place in his life.

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It sounds to me like the ex-wife is forgetting they were divorced, you may have to bite your lip over the way the funeral is, just try to remember that the last of his life was spent happily with you.

In respect of your house as the ex-wife has mentioned it, it might be worth getting legal advice to check your position?

If your partner was here he would be saying “always remember you were number one to me” at the funeral try to remember that.

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Gosh I feel so bad for you as if you are not going through enough…….please seek legal advice ASAP to protect yourself :two_hearts:


Try to stay strong, don’t let her take over, he was your life, your partner, not hers, you have enough to deal with , on an emotional level, without the extra problems. Take care, hope she backs off and let’s you grieve, without the added problems.

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I’m sorry for your loss and the horrible situation you are finding yourself in.
Yes you need plenty of time and space to grieve, my concern for you is that the ex wife is using your vulnerability to get in involved.
Yes he had a life before you but ultimately he choose his life with you.
Her interest in the house should not even be part of the equation. Please find the strength amongst this horrible journey to protect yourself and be firm regarding what is her business and what was yours and your partners!!

Take care
Dee xxx

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