Hi all I’m new to the group but looking for some answers as right now I’m feeling lost 9 weeks ago I lossy my partner of 19 years we have two teenager boys aged 13 an 14 I’m 35 an he was only 42. It was a shock as he went to work on the morning as normal but never came home Over the weeks I’ve obviously put my kids first but as there teenagers there always doing there own thing, I have loads of support from my family an friends but I never new I could feel so sad and lonely! I don’t want to do anything go anywhere or even laugh! Is this normal? It’s early days I know an I know it takes time but I feel like this feeling of extreme sadness will never go and my boys will be feeling the same even when they seem to be doing ok an they openly talk if there feeling sad.
Hi Leanne …Im 6 months down this awful path we find ourselves on and I feel just as you do …I can’t go anywhere, visit anyone and feel guilty as hell if I laugh at something on tv … it is still early days for both of us, but esp for you. I find that family and friends mean well, but they get on with their lives , as they should, but mine is frozen in time. I don’t feel so much lonely as alone if that makes sense. Just take one day at a time, put one foot in front of the other and above all, be kind to yourself. Take care.
Hi thanks for the reply. It definitely going to be a long a path an a lonely one just hate the feeling of sadness I’ve lost a lot of people of over the years but never felt this sad which then makes me feel guilty but we know you grieve every loss differently I suppose x
Frozen in time rings true. I lost Martin at the beginning of August. I see people who loved him dearly be able to genuinely find joy in things and i can find none. I have 2 emotions, grief and distracted numb. That’s it.
Im on a constant cycle back to the moment i lost him and i cant see how to move forward at all. It just feels like an existence but i guess this is the storm i need to ride.
Its bloody awful though.
Sending lots of love to you. Xx
My wife passed away on April 29th this year, we were married for 26 years and I knew her half of my life.
I was feeling exactly like you, apathetic, sadness, no motivation and basically not wanting to be here.
The last few weeks I have felt an improvement. I have said to myself that Carole my wife wouldn’t want me to be always in misery and this has helped me along my path.
I don’t think I will ever be in a position of how I felt when we were together and I accept that, I am able to have conversations with people now though and the unbearable pain of waking up each day feeling sick and tired has gotten better.
I was always a positive person and have been using self help books as well as seeing a hypnotherapist who is also a great help.
it is all subjective obviously and we all cope in our own way but I can see glimpses of a future for me that isn’t all doom and gloom.
I still have really bad days but say to myself that the negative thoughts are just that, thoughts and they will pass.
Hope this helps mate and send my love to you and hope you will at some point not feel quite so awful.
I lost my husband very suddenly at the end of August and agree with everything you say.
Christmas has been so very hard, but we made it through, didn’t we.
There is a lady named Karen Sutton, she is a Widow
and Widower Coach, i have joined her group and i find her very helpful , just a suggestion.
One day at a time, is all we can ask of ourselves perhaps even an hour at a time.
It IS very early days yet. I am 8 months in to my journey without my darling husband who went out to play his weekly football and never came home. The pain of loss is less raw some of the time for me now although some days or parts of days I still howl and want to hide away.
Don’t expect too much of yourself and take each moment as it’s own event. I found the idea of planning anything impossible so I would not try to look too far ahead.