Five weeks on from the sudden death of my partner.
Have been through all the would have, should have, could have moments, but today I came across an internet site with dementia quotes.
My partner had dementia for several years but his death was unrelated to this disease.
The quotes I’m afraid have had me sobbing for hours!
All I could think of was how impatient I was with him on times when I should have just smiled and hugged him.
Reassurance wasn’t given as often as it was needed, the list goes on and on.
Thought I was coping but this has set me back into despair and guilt at my many failings.
Hello 12remember
I understand it’s easy for me to say and hard for you to believe but guilt is never what our loved ones want us to feel.I think it’s enough that we grieve for them and love them.I understand 5 weeks is very recent and you will still be feeling the heavy weight of grief.Some triggers can set us back down on a spiral,as the quotes you found.Thing is none of us are ever perfect,we just cannot be,we do our best in a situation,and our loved ones know that.I’m 11 months along this sad journey,and i try not to relive,the day my husband passed,it’s happened and there are many things we could return to in our thoughts of what like you say ,could,should ,would have moments.but i really don’t think it serves any purpose,and can make us feel ill and much worse than we already feel.
I would try your best to move slowly forward from those distressing thoughts and choose thoughts that can help you through,the love between you and your partner .
I do hope you are in a better place soon and i know it’s hard,but you are coping ,we are all coping on here,we live it each day and move through to the next day and so on xx
Thank you Robina.
I am going to make sure I do not read any more quotes as no-one is perfect in these situations.
It is easy to write how to always be patient and understanding ensuring someone feels safe and loved at all times but as humans we have our flaws.
I am over the sobbing episode and now feel like writing “we do our best in difficult and trying situations don’t make us feel we have failed miserably when we are irritable, exhausted and snappy after a hard day”.
Guilt and regret are emotions or feelings that can destroy. Put on top of those is the grief of the death of that dearly loved person. A recipe for despair!
Now I shall put my focus and energy into fundraising to help those people who are exhausted from caring for their loved one and try to ensure they have as much support as possible during those difficult times.
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