That is the question…" faith, keeping it or losing it…" We have askd ourelves over and over again " why was he-she taken from us" …" why, what is Your, our Gods purpose…a question we will never get an answer on…the why of why he or she was taken, for what use, what purpose…doeskin He, God know he - she is still very much needed - wanted down here…I can fully understand why many lose faith…we fight to keep faith that there is a reason for everything, well right now i can not see any reason for taking my Richard away from me, not anyone else’s loved one who are posting on our Sue Ryder forum at this present moment in time…I say this moment in time as we know it wont be long before a new poster comes to join us…yes this is the forum membership that no one wants to be joining…nor ever anticipate they would ever be needing to join any time in the future…
I’ve been reading some of your stories for which I am sorry that you had to join up here at all. I joined recently. Didn’t want to be a member of the club. For me it was my mum 9 suddenly weeks ago. There are a lot of lovely people here, the club itself is horrible but the other members are not!
For me, it’s not really a question of faith as I never really had any to start with. The questions about why and why now still haunt me though.
For me, I break it down to a couple of things to help me come to terms with what has happened to my life. I have a logical side and an emotional side to my brain. They are both constantly fighting.
Logically, I know why this has happened as life itself is a biological process and of course we are meant to want to live and we are meant to have emotions that protect ourselves and our loved ones. I know all this and I honestly don’t think life has any point at all. That may sound negative but it has always enabled me to just get on and enjoy life and love those around me so I don’t want anyone to take that comment as meaning that their life is worthless because that is certainly not the case!
The emotional side however is failing to understand why this has happened and actually accept that this has happened at all. The emotional side even wonders what is after and if there is an after, it hopes so. At any one time, one half of my brain dominates my thoughts. It’s no fun at all and of course the bottom line is, I want my mum back.
All your lives are worthy and we all need to live on for our loved ones as they would have wanted us to. It’s a big struggle though.
Shaun…
… i am 68 and have lived through several family losses over the years, including both my parents when i was in my 20’s then 30’s, a cousin murdered, aunts and uncles again when i was in my 20’s and 30’s but hand on heart losing my forever partner of 20 years, we met in our later life. he was 74 when i lost him, his loss has hit me the hardest of them all…
Jackie,
My mum lost her parents when she was 22 and 24. I often wondered how she managed to cope at the time while raising 2 children as a single parent before I made it 3 children. I always admired her and appreciated her so much for what she sacrificed and did for us all. I tried as much as I could to repay the debt right up until the day she died. And I still feel guilty!
I didn’t know you’d been through all that for which I am sorry.
I am with my forever partner right now and I dread what the future might do as I’m acutely aware of what is possible now. Especially since my wife had a cancer battle a few years ago when I contemplated losing her. Thankfully she won. I appreciate life so much but don’t want to even consider what may happen to our lives in the coming years.
I wish you all the strength to continue. I can only begin to understand how it has affected you.
Shaun
Hi,
I’ve read a lot of your posts. My husband of 50 years died last year, I use the term died only in the context of people understanding what I mean. I’m a Wiccan and for me my husband is gone but nothing is ever lost, he is still in the air I breathe and the sounds I hear.
While non-Wiccans see death as an ending, most Wiccans view it as the beginning of the next phase of our existence. Perhaps it is because we view the cycle of birth and life and death and rebirth as something magical and spiritual, a never-ending, ever turning wheel. Rather than being disconnected from death and dying, we tend to acknowledge it as part of a sacred evolution.
Unlike most religions, Wicca does not fear mortality.
While a loved one’s passage is always painful, Wiccans don’t shrink from the natural processes of life. The Wheel turns, and sometimes things must be let go.
We also know the Wheel will turn again, and things that have been lost will be returned to us. The form may change, but nothing is ever really lost.
I do hope you find some peace and solace. Blessed Be.
Ashtrees…
…I have been reading books by Joni Eareckdon Tada…
" Heaven Your Real Home From A Higher Perspective…" and
" Finding god In Hidden Places…"
Both books are giving me some form of comfort that the best is yet to come…our afterlife, a new beginning…
Ever since I was a little girl, a long long time ago, I have had Faith. I honestly do not know how I would cope without it.
My mum had Faith but as for my dad, his mantra was, "once you are dead, you are dead. " I am so thankful for my Faith. x x
Mary…
…my Richard is-was the same…" once you are dead, you are dead…" this is-was his belief too…I had often joked, my warped sense of humour, and i remember the last time to be just around the Christmas before he died, saying to him, " if you go before me, come back and tell who was right, whether i was right or you was right…" well Richard has not come back to tell me yet, i am still asking, no begging for a sign from him that he can hear me…
Since my Richards death on another Christian site forum someone had mentioned Joni Eareckson Tada, so i found myself buying four -five of her books, and one is on her belief of Finding God In A Higher Perspective, oh i see, i have already mentioned her book…and she just cant wait to be there, you see she has lived in a quadriplegic body most of her life and now is a missionary…
As for me, i still believe that that there is something better up there waiting for us than we have down here…
So do I, Jackie, we share the same beliefs, I have decided and I hope that I am wrong, that despite the beauty with which Mother Nature surrounds us, we are actually living in Hell on earth. Grieving in my opinion is the worst kind of Hell.
Mary…
… you may be right, all i know is that we have only been " lent " our body…we have a soul and a spirit ( dont know what they look like ) and i believe they or it leaves our body at the time of death, how soon i dont know…Although none of us is eager to reach there, my belief is there is better to come, a new world, a new beginning waiting for us, built for us, prepared for us…Just wish my Richard would give me a sign he is happy being back home, seen and been re-united with his brother and parents…where his ashes are now scattered with amongst the rose bush…