Family problems

My husband was in a bad accident while doing a favour for my bro in June 17, at this stage my father had already been diagnosed with lung cancer and pulmonary fibrosis. My husband spent 4 weeks in hospital and got out in a wheelchair. My dad came to see him the next day and the following day my bad bro died and my dad took unwell and was sent to hospital and died that night surrounded by all the family. Our family got thru the wake and funeral quite well. Mum then wanted dads will read and everything was split between me and my bro who happened to be home at the time my dad died but lives abroad for 20& yrs. however my father and I had another property abroad and he left his share to me and my son. My bro was very angry at this and reacted badly, told us he was disappointed in us for not telling him, told my mum he wud never trust me again etc. I also work
For my bro and he said I might not have a job to go back to. Anyway he left and things settled down and I did go back to work pt but he never rang or text or contacted me even though our mother was quite low and depressed. I thought things were improving he came home couple of weekend And we all had dinner together. Unfortunately things took turn for worse at work he started to remove the roles and responsibilities I had been doing. Again wudnt contact me at work but the other managers etc. My husband then had to go in for another op on his legs after xmas so I text my bro to let him know he had gone thru the op, the reply I got was happy ny, we are having a party with friends are u going out to a party too ? As u can imagine I was fuming and I admit I did not react in a great way. Sibce then I haven’t went back to work I am off in the sick. I feel very anxious and have tried to agree with him about leaving but he just became aggressive so I am nOw in nowhere land! I feel because he is my bro he is not fulfilling his end of my emp contract that he promised me but I am not sure if I am acting rationally because I am grieving for my daddy and I am extremely anxious. Ultimately I won’t have peace until I leave but if I push for my emp rights I will prob lose the relationship with my bro. Any advice or has anyone gone through something similar?

I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve lost your dad and that your husband was in an accident - you’ve been through such a lot recently. Unfortunately, it does seem to be fairly common to have family problems after a bereavement, as people react in different ways, and tensions can come to the forefront in times of high emotion.

It sounds as though working for your brother is adding extra complications to the situation. Perhaps looking for a new job would be the best thing to do once you are ready to end your sick leave?

I’m glad that you’ve found this Online Community, and I hope it helps a little to have this space to get things off your chest and talk to others who understand what it’s like to lose a loved one.

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