This time of year is torture for me I lost my lovely Roy 4 years ago. We were not married and he had one son who had 3 grandchildren and numerous great grandchildren. Every xmas and birthdays he would give them £50 each even the grandchildren’s other halves. When he was dying he told me and his son that this would stop. Silly me for the past 3 years I have sent scratch cards and selection boxes but got no thanks. I unfriended them on facebook as they have not bothered with me only to get a message from the granddaughter asking why, when I said I felt they did not care she said the feeling was mutual and that I never bothered with them since “gramps” died. This is untrue but I am too upset and tired to argue the point. Thinking back they never came to see Roy when he was really ill or even the years before. He had a nasty divorce and they are always visiting their grandmother. He asked me if he should leave them something in his will and I just said it was up to him. His words were they don’t come to see me so no I won’t. I must add that he left his son a substantial amount of money. We bought our house together so he also made that clear to his son that it was mine. I have had the comment it is a shame they do not have anything to remind them of their gramps, the point is I am still not ready to clear his stuff and if they were to come and ask then I would of course consider it. Sorry to rant but it is upsetting me as I did not get any help when Roy was dying at home, his son only came occasionally but never offered to help with getting Roy up or helping him up the stairs to bed.
Anyone else had this?

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How sad and at this time of year we think things over and over. I can understand and sympathies with you and I have many thoughts about what I would do in your place but I am not you. We did have a horrible situation when my in-laws died with my husbands sister and her husband. I still wonder if we handled it right but life moves on and now really it doesn’t matter.
The one thing I can say is there are lots of people out there who never say thank you and that goes for birthday, Christmas or just clan good manors.
The only advice I will offer and that : is don’t let it eat you, they are not worth of your good nature.
Take care and please keep safe. S xx

Thank you for replying. I have felt much better since writing this down today and have decided not to let it get to me anymore. They missed out on so much. I take comfort in knowing that Roy loved me.

Thank you for your reply. Time to concentrate on me now. take care x