Father’s Day

With Father’s Day approaching next weekend, I’m thinking of all of you who’ve lost your dads – I know it will be a difficult time for many of you.

Do you know what you are planning to do on Father’s Day? Perhaps you have something planned to remember your dad or perhaps you have no idea how you’ll cope – post a reply below to share with the community and get support.

I lost my dad on the 26th May this year. Father’s Day always falls a few day ms around my birthday and this year it’s the day before. I’m trying to come to terms with losing my lovely father but it seems like every email I get is reminding me that it’s Father’s Day coming up so I have two events within a day of each other which will both be painful reminders that he’s not here. I keep thinking that he’s just gone away for a while and that he’s coming back. I knew the hardest part for me would be when reality hit after the funeral and when everyone else’s life starts to go back to normal. I want to keep on talking about my dad but I know that other people will probably perceive me as prolonging the grief period and being morose and moping around. Me and my husband have decided to do a 10k run on Sunday and we are raising money for charity in the process. That way I can keep busy and feel like I’m doing something productive but I’ll be running for my dad and using the timeout in the road to think about him.

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Hi Laura,

I’m so sorry for your loss - it sounds as though having Father’s Day so close to your birthday makes things really tough. Well done to you and your husband on your charity 10k - that’s such a lovely idea. Good luck to you both on Sunday!

Hi Laura,

Sorry to hear about your poor dad.
I know exactly how you feel, I lost my dad at the begining of April, and mum at the begining of Feb. It would have been my mums birthday this Friday, and its fathers day on Sunday.
I feel like locking myself away, and not coming out until Monday. I know its going to hurt like hell. But I cant, my children and family wont let that happen.
You are doing such a good thing to remember your dad by, and im sure he would have been very proud.
Funny how death can bring out the very best in us, and a far more compasionate and kind side to our nature, I know it has mine.
Sometimes talking about them is the only way I can cope, so I just do it. Like you I think I probably bore everyone by now, but its the only way I can deal with the loss.

I dont know how long it takes to heal, maybe I never will. But I am doing my best to carry on because thats all we can do.
Mum and especially Dad, would never want me and my brothers to be sad. My mum left a note to say she had a wonderful life, and enjoyed every minute, also she would be watching us.
When I feel really down I read the note, and suddenly I feel like shes doing just that.
I hope you feel better soon, and do really well on Sunday x x

Last year I made a wooden headboard from reclaimed pallets / nothing to do with my father but it kept me busy that first year without him - without me explaining several friends stopped by to help me work and I was actually very touched. I try not to think of all the things I would buy him if only I had more birthdays etc to celebrate with him.

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I still really struggle to cope on Father’s Day, because it always falls close to my Birthday on 15 June. I still find it hard walking into cards shops & seeing all the Father’s Day cards, and having to try not to cry. I don’t really know how I’ll cope on the day this year, sometimes I get sad, but sometimes I don’t give it a second thought & it’s just an ordinary Sunday!

Hi Laura,

How did the 10k go yesterday?

I hope all of you in this conversation found a way to cope yesterday and were able to think of some nice memories of your dads.

Hi,

The 10k went really well and I managed a personal best!! We are going to be donating the money raised to kidney cancer UK which is a part of the wider cancer research charity. I’m think I’m going to find fundraising and running is a good way of focusing my energy and anger that this evil disease took my father away from me too soon. If by raising money for cancer research I can contribute in a small way to helping others it will be worth it.

Fantastic - well done on your time and your fundraising. I’m sure your dad would be very proud of you.

Thats brilliant, well done. I wish I could run, I would love to do something as rewarding as you have.
Fathers day was a mixed bunch of emotions, the whole family got together for the afternoon, which was lovely, but sad because mum and dad would have been there normally. We are all sticking together, and are a lot closer and aware of the need we have for each other. I have my mum and dads ashes now, and I feel so much easier now I have them back with me.

It’s nice to hear that you are all supporting each other, particularly on difficult days like Father’s Day.

Hi Laura

I lost my Dad a few days after you. 28th May for me. It was a shock, very unexpected and I think thats what makes it harder for me. I thought my Dad would always be here. Sure he had illnesses, he was 75 but he was in the go, walked his dog and kept active and I never thought that would change. My Husband and I moved from Scotland and our families to Somerset last year and wgen my Dad passed I realised how far away we were and that it wasnt a ten minute trip anymore to see him should something go wrong and I think a part of me feels guilty about that. I cry pretty much everyday now and like u I want to talk about him all the time but I see everyone else moving on and I think why cant I? I guess we just take it as it comes. Well done for your 10k I wish I had a bit of oomph to do it to. Maybe next year xxx

I’m so sorry you lost your dad too. I completely understand all of the emotions that you are feeling. Part of the grief process is the inevitable feeling of guilt. I’ve felt it myself for a whole host of minor things that I think I should or shouldn’t have said or done but the reality is we cannot change the past and guilt is our way of making sense of a situation that we have no control over. When you decided to move you didn’t make the decision with the knowledge that you would lose your dad and that you would feel sad for being a long way away. You should talk about him, its quite surprising how much people do understand. You should try to reflect on the great things that your dad gave to you to make you the person that you are today. We all leave a piece of us behind, no one is truly gone because memories are always there and as difficult as it may seem now, soon you will be able to look back and take a lot of comfort just by thinking about your dad. We all deal with things differently but don’t bottle up your feelings, if you don’t feel like talking to people you know, use this thread to get things off your chest. It will make you feel better xx

Thanks Laura. x

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