Well this day has came around again and after 5 years it is still so hard. One thing I have noticed when it comes to fathers day, alot of people focus on celebrate fathers who are living, which is completely relevant and appropriate. People who have had lost a parent at times tend to be forgotten. This is how I feel personally. Not one person has asked me how I am doing today. On the outside I look fine but on the I side I am struggling, feeling like I have no one to talk too. If anyone else feels this way today and want to talk I’m here for you
Hi Epalmer,
It’s my first fathers day without dad. He passed away suddenly in March. I’ve dreaded today for a couple of weeks for obvious reasons, my mum rang me this morning to see how I was and though I tried to open up to her, the phone call lasted 4 mins and consisted of her talking about her dad (my grandad)
I’ve tried to distract myself with my partner and our children today but that just makes me feel worse. I haven’t heard from anyone else, none of my dads family, not even my brothers. I feel utterly alone and invisible today. I don’t know what I’m expecting really, I just feel lost.
Hi EPalmer,
You are completely right. I’m on this site because I lost my amazing mum suddenly last june. However, people forget that I also lost my wonderful dad 21 years ago. No one ever mentions him, no one ever asks if I’m ok, he is completely eradicated as if he never existed.
I hate fathers day and I now hate mothers day and i dread the adverts, the facebook posts and seeing people out with their parents. When you no longer have them, the world is a darker place.
Cheryl x
Hi Cheryl,
That’s so sad, no one mentioning your dad anymore. I don’t know what’s the matter with people, I hate the fact they’re just forgotten as the years go on , like they’ve never existed.
I’m so worried about that with my husband, I never want him to be forgotten.
Today is my daughters first father’s day without their dad and it’s hard.
Sending love to you on Father’s Day
Steph x
Hi Epalmer,
You’re so right that everything is focused on father’s that are living, no thoughts to people who have lost a dad.
It’s so sad, we are the forgotten ones.
Thinking of you
Steph x
Hello all
Many thanks for your replies on this
So sorry to hear of everyone’s loss. Nice that you had a phone call from your mum alliecal. I agree, it’s so sad that no one else bothers. I feel the exact same as you, very lost, upset and even angry. I feel like no one cares, you know. My mum didn’t like my dad and she has never been there to support me through this. I agree and feel like everyone is acting like he never existed, is this why I am still grieving and struggling to process?? I have no one to talk about the good or the bad times too. I agree it is so hard seeing everyone post on social media about family members that are living. People who have lost are forgotten.
Thinking of you all today xx
Thinking of you all without your daddy’s. I know how painful it is without my mum on Mother’s Day. It’s a rubbish day. X
Hi Alliecal,
It’s also my daughter’s first father’s day without their dad, it’s so hard and painful for everyone.
I understand your lost feeling, it’s sad when the day comes and no one really mentions it .
Thinking of you on your first Father’s Day
Steph x
Well you came to the right place, I’ve struggled all day to just stop crying for longer than 5 mins. Then remembered this place. There are people here who can relate to how you feel, somewhere to have a rant, and just let it all out.
My mum and dad divorced when I was young so I see what you mean, it just takes away that parental support that you rely on when losing a parent. Because of how they feel towards that person it affects the way they see your relationship with them.
Thinking of you today and sending you strength xx
Hi Stephtim,
My heart goes to you and your daughters. It is so painful to see so many people enjoying their dads on a day when your heart is breaking all over again.
Thinking of them and you
Xx
I posted this on the songs thread but think it should go on here too. I promise you it will make you cry but I think you’ll all be able to relate to it…
I loved that Kate, although I am on this site because my wife died suddenly 7 weeks ago, nevertheless it was beautiful and took tears to my eyes even though my Dad died 43 years ago! I only hope my son, who is 55, will have the same emotions stirred in him when I go. It just goes to show you never really lose the ones you love. X
You too steph. It’s a horrible time for us all
Cheryl x
That’s a lovely thought Kate, I’m not ready yet to hear it, but thanks for posting it xx
I think people just don’t know what to say when I’m feeling generous, if not I think they just think I don’t fit the traditional pattern any more. Either way I would rather they said something /anything to recognise I do grieve on that day especially… Take care…we are not alone and that is a comfort when all else fails.
This chat has really helped, hearing your stories makes me feel like I’m not alone in this. Love the song Kate, I was a blubbering mess listening. I agree, my husband says that he dosent know what to say. Sometimes they don’t need to say anything just providing you with comfort to help you get through. Take care everyone
Nobody even thinks to ask if your ok on fathers day😢
I have found it so hard after losing my dad in January and it was the first father day without him and I felt so alone as all I did was cry xx
Yes I feel for you .I go through the same…I dread fathers day…and days with significant meaning …as they produce a build up of dread anxiety and sadness which is hard to deal with.it lost my daughter and my mum in the space of 8 weeks…my two closet people out of my life…it’s destroys you…I keep pushing .take care
I am so sorry for your loss and even tho Father’s Day has gone I am still struggling with everything I am hoping in time it will get easier