Father's day without your dad

Well this day has came around again and after 5 years it is still so hard. One thing I have noticed when it comes to fathers day, alot of people focus on celebrate fathers who are living, which is completely relevant and appropriate. People who have had lost a parent at times tend to be forgotten. This is how I feel personally. Not one person has asked me how I am doing today. On the outside I look fine but on the I side I am struggling, feeling like I have no one to talk too. If anyone else feels this way today and want to talk I’m here for you

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Hi Epalmer,
It’s my first fathers day without dad. He passed away suddenly in March. I’ve dreaded today for a couple of weeks for obvious reasons, my mum rang me this morning to see how I was and though I tried to open up to her, the phone call lasted 4 mins and consisted of her talking about her dad (my grandad)
I’ve tried to distract myself with my partner and our children today but that just makes me feel worse. I haven’t heard from anyone else, none of my dads family, not even my brothers. I feel utterly alone and invisible today. I don’t know what I’m expecting really, I just feel lost.

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Hi EPalmer,

You are completely right. I’m on this site because I lost my amazing mum suddenly last june. However, people forget that I also lost my wonderful dad 21 years ago. No one ever mentions him, no one ever asks if I’m ok, he is completely eradicated as if he never existed.
I hate fathers day and I now hate mothers day and i dread the adverts, the facebook posts and seeing people out with their parents. When you no longer have them, the world is a darker place.
Cheryl x

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Hi Cheryl,
That’s so sad, no one mentioning your dad anymore. I don’t know what’s the matter with people, I hate the fact they’re just forgotten as the years go on , like they’ve never existed.
I’m so worried about that with my husband, I never want him to be forgotten.
Today is my daughters first father’s day without their dad and it’s hard.
Sending love to you on Father’s Day
Steph x

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Hi Epalmer,
You’re so right that everything is focused on father’s that are living, no thoughts to people who have lost a dad.
It’s so sad, we are the forgotten ones.
Thinking of you
Steph x

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Hello all
Many thanks for your replies on this

So sorry to hear of everyone’s loss. Nice that you had a phone call from your mum alliecal. I agree, it’s so sad that no one else bothers. I feel the exact same as you, very lost, upset and even angry. I feel like no one cares, you know. My mum didn’t like my dad and she has never been there to support me through this. I agree and feel like everyone is acting like he never existed, is this why I am still grieving and struggling to process?? I have no one to talk about the good or the bad times too. I agree it is so hard seeing everyone post on social media about family members that are living. People who have lost are forgotten.

Thinking of you all today :heart:xx

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Thinking of you all without your daddy’s. I know how painful it is without my mum on Mother’s Day. It’s a rubbish day. X

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Hi Alliecal,
It’s also my daughter’s first father’s day without their dad, it’s so hard and painful for everyone.
I understand your lost feeling, it’s sad when the day comes and no one really mentions it .
Thinking of you on your first Father’s Day
Steph x

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Well you came to the right place, I’ve struggled all day to just stop crying for longer than 5 mins. Then remembered this place. There are people here who can relate to how you feel, somewhere to have a rant, and just let it all out.
My mum and dad divorced when I was young so I see what you mean, it just takes away that parental support that you rely on when losing a parent. Because of how they feel towards that person it affects the way they see your relationship with them.

Thinking of you today and sending you strength xx

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Hi Stephtim,
My heart goes to you and your daughters. It is so painful to see so many people enjoying their dads on a day when your heart is breaking all over again.
Thinking of them and you
Xx

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I posted this on the songs thread but think it should go on here too. I promise you it will make you cry but I think you’ll all be able to relate to it…:sob:

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I loved that Kate, although I am on this site because my wife died suddenly 7 weeks ago, nevertheless it was beautiful and took tears to my eyes even though my Dad died 43 years ago! I only hope my son, who is 55, will have the same emotions stirred in him when I go. It just goes to show you never really lose the ones you love. X

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You too steph. It’s a horrible time for us all
Cheryl x

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That’s a lovely thought Kate, I’m not ready yet to hear it, :weary: :cry: but thanks for posting it xx

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I think people just don’t know what to say when I’m feeling generous, if not I think they just think I don’t fit the traditional pattern any more. Either way I would rather they said something /anything to recognise I do grieve on that day especially… Take care…we are not alone and that is a comfort when all else fails.

This chat has really helped, hearing your stories makes me feel like I’m not alone in this. Love the song Kate, I was a blubbering mess listening. I agree, my husband says that he dosent know what to say. Sometimes they don’t need to say anything just providing you with comfort to help you get through. Take care everyone

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Nobody even thinks to ask if your ok on fathers day😢

I have found it so hard after losing my dad in January and it was the first father day without him and I felt so alone as all I did was cry xx

Yes I feel for you .I go through the same…I dread fathers day…and days with significant meaning …as they produce a build up of dread anxiety and sadness which is hard to deal with.it lost my daughter and my mum in the space of 8 weeks…my two closet people out of my life…it’s destroys you…I keep pushing .take care

I am so sorry for your loss and even tho Father’s Day has gone I am still struggling with everything I am hoping in time it will get easier

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