This might sound strange but im just so fed up of the never ending monotony of being bereaved its six months following nearly two years of terminal illness etc.
It just goes on and on and im worn out and had enough!
I get on with things best i can but i think the real grief is stuck inside
I want to move on and put my complex relationship with my loved one to rest ….it is hard work sifting thru the pieces ……
Grieving is very tiring and lonely
Hi @Lulu.4
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
Hi lulu.4, I’m sorry to hear you are feeling exhausted with your bereavement. My wife died on Christmas day after two years fighting cancer. In some ways were grieving together from the moment she was given five months to live and we left the hospital crying in each others arms. Fortunately she lived two years but always with death hanging over us. Since her death after the first couple of months of horrific pain. It has become a loneliness that can’t be quenched and weekends seem to be the hardest to get through. Have you tried any counselling or anything to help.
Wishing you all the best
Tom 
Hi Lulu you say complex. In what way?
Tom
Hi thank you for taking time to reply
I am sorry to hear that you have lost your wife. Cancer is a b….
I find weekends hard too …but I am now trying a new approach of making them….down time I dont do any death admin or similar for example basically make a simple routine….I have a dog so walking them helps me see people and say hello
Being kind to ourselves is the best gift I think we can give
And yes I do have professional support via the hospice which really helps but I know everyone is different.
Wishing you peace
Hi Lulu, when my wife died I decided to take the pain I was feeling out on my body by doing exercise lifting weights and walking until I couldn’t. I found it helpful because an exhausted body tends to find sleep a little easier. I also do a bit of yoga in the morning which helped. I have been attending a bereavement group and posting on this site which has been a great help. But I also have been concentrating on how lucky I have been to have loved and been loved by such a lovely person. When I walk in nature I try and find a beautiful thing each day to share with my wife Which is also a positive thing to do.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
Hi lulu4
You are so right this grieving is so Draining and exhausting I have been struggling to cope with it for 5yrs and just feel what is the point I wish someone would tell me how to cope and how to go on without the love of my life
Sweetlady
If you live in England, this is the link to the NHS Talking Therapies page NHS England » NHS Talking Therapies, for anxiety and depression
You can self-refer so don’t need to see your GP. Once contacted, they will ask you to book an initial phone assessment, and then refer you to a counsellor related to your needs.
If you have not tried this route it may be worth looking into.