Feel like I’m leaving mum behind..

First new years without my mum been nearly 7 months since she was taken so suddenly and tragically away from us… I felt with christmas as just a Sunday with a few gifts but today I have this constant guilt and upset as we’re approaching a “ new year” like I’m leaving my mum behind, starting a new year without her here is absolutely horrible and I’ve never felt like this when it is like an occasion sort of thing as I’ve tried to swerve things and try to block them out. Just really really miss her and don’t want to leave her in 2022 :sweat::broken_heart:

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Vicky i know how you feel i had the same feeling last year my husband died 2021 . The 1st are awful but i feel worse this year knowing I’m leaving jim further and further behind. We do find a way to cope we have no choice sadly, but it hurts so much. Sending you a hug and hope the pain of losing you mum gets easier with time .

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My mum died early this year, so like you Vickyb I’m facing my first new year without my mum. This webpage from the Sue Ryder website Coping with grief at the start of a new year | Sue Ryder acknowledges that new year, like Christmas, can be a tough time for those who are grieving.

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I also lost my mum very suddenly 7 months ago, and have found Christmas unbearable. I am dreading tomorrow night. I feel that every day she is further and further from me, and don’t feel able to want to create new memories that don’t involve my mum. I don’t have any answers but I share your pain x

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I also lost my beautiful mum on April 24th this year, suddenly and unexpectedly. Christmas was dreadful. Sadness is all I feel. New year is not something i look forward to. Sending love to you all.

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For me, Christmas & New Year has brought all the emotions to the fore again. I’ve never liked New Year so I’ll be in bed asleep and deliberately miss it all! I will always hold my mum in my heart and in my thoughts every second of every day, so she’ll always be with me. I was distraught the other day so made a list of all the happy times I could think of, that we shared, it was extremely long, this helped me remember the love we always had for each other.

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@Nellieelephant I feel you I really do o have no words as you don’t for me it’s just horrible. I’m struggling with new year more than Christmas because I just treated it as as sunday with gifts but it’s like new year everyone at 12 starts again on a new year and I don’t want to :sweat:

@Mocreid horrible isn’t it sending love x

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Hi Vickyb,

I relate to your post so much. I posted something similar on another thread. As soon as we were approaching Christmas all I could think of was going into a new year without my dad.

I feel like I’m leaving him behind and it’s so upsetting. I have woken up crying again today and feel dread. Dad would tell me it’s just another day but it doesn’t feel like it.

You are not alone.
X

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@Katherine86 so sorry to hear about your dad. My mum didn’t really celebrate new year she would stay up though and ring me either 11.45pm or 12.15am to say happy new year that I am going to miss too. Never seen it as leaving things behind most years I’m glad there over an to move onto another but not this year the guilt and wanting her even more than usual is horrible.
I’ve got my big girl pants on and a painted smile but I’m hurting inside.
You take care of yourself too x

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@Mikeville_70 thank-you for the information I will go and have a look now.
Take care x