Feel like I'm drowning

So coming up to 12 weeks since I lost my lovely dad and it’s getting harder.
Work has been a life line. Although my concentration and focus are not good, I smile and do what’s expected then I get home and I feel crushed and overwhelmed with emotions.
Upcoming father’s day is triggering me, I want to completely avoid it and shut it out but then it dawned on me, if anyone deserves a tribute, it was my dad.
My dad was so strong, dignified and selfless. Trying hard to follow his example but am a mess.
He taught me and my siblings everything except how to cope with him passing.
This pain is unbearable and getting worst by the day.
Sorry for the ramble but just needed to put it out there.
Love to all of you going through this :heart:

I am so sorry to hear about your loss
Shutting things out might seem easier than facing things but it does not work and is not healthy in my experience.
Also you don’t need to be strong and dignified, don’t put pressure on yourself, you are allowed to be vulnerable right now it is completely normal, it is good to get what your feeling off your chest.
Fathers day is always tough but as hard as it might be right now, what helped me was just trying to think of the happier times and sharing them with family or friends. Listen to his favourite songs or look at old pictures?
Take care and stay strong :heart:

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@Struggling Hi there, I feel the exact same way. It’s 6 months since I lost my lovely wonderful and amazing Dad and I feel the exact same way as you described him. He taught me everything too, right down to the nitty gritty, fishing, gutting it and preparing it to eat but never how to deal with loss. I suppose - how does anyone teach another how to deal with it when it looks so different for everyone?
The loom of Fathers Day is getting to me, as it’s the last big milestone to deal with before the year anniversary. I must confess, I forgot about a few Mother’s Day but never did I forget to send a text on Father’s Day. You’re right that they deserve to be celebrated, I just have no idea how to do that. What do you have planned?
So sorry you’re having to deal with this heartbreak too. It is the worst thing in the world losing your Daddy.

Best wishes

Thank-you Spant and Watt92 for your kind words they are very much appreciated and I am so sorry you are going through this too :heart:. I think that initial fog of shock is starting to clear and the true realisation of what’s happened is seeping through and feels overwhelming. I’ve gone back to my tearful stage and can’t seem to control it. I did consult a gp and was given some antidepressants but had side effects that caused difficulty with work which is my lifeline atm so stopped. If I can just get to end of next week Im working from home for a few weeks then so can try again. I never imagined how painful loss could be. I can’t seem to appreciate the people physically around me and feel numb towards them. My dad was always there for me, always offering help and advice and I use to tell him I’m fine, I’m independent :slightly_smiling_face: now I feel anything but. My brain tells me we all lose our parents and as a parent myself know they want us to go on and be happy but my heart feels broken and I don’t know how to go forward. I miss him so much. I long for the time I feel blessed for the time I had him rather than the pain of him not being here. It’s so difficult carrying on as normal when you have this huge gaping hole now. Life doesn’t give you a break just heartlessly carries on. It truly is the worst thing :broken_heart:. Sending you both much love and hoping things somehow get easier x

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