Feel so alone

Its 20 months in for me after losing my boyfriend so suddenly to atherosclerosis, narrowing of heart valves one minute he was fine the next gone just like that no warning

Why is life now so lonely I have family around but still feel so alone

When do i stop feeling like this

Havent posted in a while xx

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Clare it’s 6 months since I lost Jim and like you I’m struggling how do we move forward I don’t know to be honest. Everyday is the same and I cry all the time. Just want it to end

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Hi

Yes it’s just like a nightmare that you can never wake up from .

The nights are so lonely. I cried so much . Some days I think what did I ever do wrong to deserve this

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So so for your loss it is 9 months for me losing my husband suddenly I too feel I must have been a bad person to be left it is so hard I will never be the same person struggle with every thing has to be the worse pain ever future is so dark 45 years was lucky to have had that I guess but don’t feel happy now xxx

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I lost my wife Alicia 7 weeks ago yesterday aged 64. We had 15 years together , both on our second marriages. I feel l drew the short straw in life and what did l do in my past life to deserve this. I get upset every day and little things like an advert on TV sets me off. I have no future to look forward to and l am just counting down the days until l can hold her in my arms again and then l will never let her go. The grief is unbearable at times. Xx

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16 years we had he was only 40 we had so many plans life is so cruel.
I like you will never be the same again. I cannot see the future as it just seems like a black hole that I am stuck in xx

So sorry for your loss he was so young life is very cruel and our journey is the worse that we will be on people say take one day at time sending hugs xx

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Dear Clare,
I haven’t written on here for sometime, but read the messages regularly, as they do often reflect my own feelings & thoughts.
I’m reaching out to you because my seemingly fit, healthy & active husband collapsed & died from a heart attack caused by arthersclerosis. No warning, it’s nearly 16 months for me & I still look at his photo & ask how did that happen to you ? It makes no sense at all does it. We both worked our long shifts out so that we could spend as much time together as possible & had so many dreams for our future. I even look at my own photos & don’t recognise myself, as if that person I was disappeared with him.
Sooooo I do understand, sadly, not much comfort, I know,
But just know that all of us on here understand so well.
Keep plodding on & try to find some joy in little things that happen.
Sue xxx

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I had never heard of atherosclerosis before karl died . He had no symptoms whatsoever he turned our attic room into a gym and spent every night up there for 2years . I asked myself many times how can this happen he was only 40 .

I feel like I’m sitting in a wall and the slightest thing can knock me off .

The night he died so did I too but I’m still here living the nightmare if that makes sense xxx

It really does make sense. I feel vulnerable & precarious too, that the slightest thing will knock me off balance. I will never ever get my head around it. The year before we had climbed two Welsh mountains with ease.
The shock & disbelief is awful isn’t it & the idea of getting old without them. I just try not to look ahead at all, just keep getting through each day/week as best I can. I work full-time, had to increase my hours, & I run a little which really helps mentally as does a good walk. Take care xxx

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Hi Clare - my husband died of atheroma too, five months ago. He was very fit and active and it came completely out of the blue. He was at work playing football at the time. Alan was 67. Life feels so strange without him we were happily married for 37 years and together for nearly 40. xx

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