So so for your loss it is 9 months for me losing my husband suddenly I too feel I must have been a bad person to be left it is so hard I will never be the same person struggle with every thing has to be the worse pain ever future is so dark 45 years was lucky to have had that I guess but don’t feel happy now xxx
I lost my wife Alicia 7 weeks ago yesterday aged 64. We had 15 years together , both on our second marriages. I feel l drew the short straw in life and what did l do in my past life to deserve this. I get upset every day and little things like an advert on TV sets me off. I have no future to look forward to and l am just counting down the days until l can hold her in my arms again and then l will never let her go. The grief is unbearable at times. Xx
I haven’t written on here for sometime, but read the messages regularly, as they do often reflect my own feelings & thoughts.
I’m reaching out to you because my seemingly fit, healthy & active husband collapsed & died from a heart attack caused by arthersclerosis. No warning, it’s nearly 16 months for me & I still look at his photo & ask how did that happen to you ? It makes no sense at all does it. We both worked our long shifts out so that we could spend as much time together as possible & had so many dreams for our future. I even look at my own photos & don’t recognise myself, as if that person I was disappeared with him.
Sooooo I do understand, sadly, not much comfort, I know,
But just know that all of us on here understand so well.
Keep plodding on & try to find some joy in little things that happen.
I had never heard of atherosclerosis before karl died . He had no symptoms whatsoever he turned our attic room into a gym and spent every night up there for 2years . I asked myself many times how can this happen he was only 40 .
I feel like I’m sitting in a wall and the slightest thing can knock me off .
The night he died so did I too but I’m still here living the nightmare if that makes sense xxx
It really does make sense. I feel vulnerable & precarious too, that the slightest thing will knock me off balance. I will never ever get my head around it. The year before we had climbed two Welsh mountains with ease.
The shock & disbelief is awful isn’t it & the idea of getting old without them. I just try not to look ahead at all, just keep getting through each day/week as best I can. I work full-time, had to increase my hours, & I run a little which really helps mentally as does a good walk. Take care xxx
Hi Clare - my husband died of atheroma too, five months ago. He was very fit and active and it came completely out of the blue. He was at work playing football at the time. Alan was 67. Life feels so strange without him we were happily married for 37 years and together for nearly 40. xx