Feel so alone

I want to share my story here because I know people will understand. My partner of 30 years died on 5 August this year. He had been diagnosed with bowel cancer in October 2022.
I thought I was doing okay but I just seem to have folded up and feel both physically and mentally ill. I ache all over, have permanent headache and bad stomach. I don’t enjoy the best of health myself as I have 2 autoimmune conditions which means I don’t have much energy to start with and I don’t go out much.
Theo did so much for me and now there is no one… I hope that doesn’t sound selfish because I don’t mean to be.
Everyone that was around when he died and before the funeral have now disappeared back to their own lives. I understand that but I just feel so alone now and I’m struggling. I don’t see a future for myself.
I’ve reached out to bereavement services but there is a lengthy waiting list for any kind of help.
Thank you for reading and I’m sorry for rambling on


@Woody123 It is still early days for you. I lost my husband in March this year and remember those early dark days. There is a massive build up to the funeral and then wham! I still have bad days now but try to fill my time as much as I can to stop me thinking, I don’t know if it would be any help to you but there is a meeting once a month at the hospice where my husband died. I have been a couple on times and I’m going to go again this Thursday. Not sure if you drive or if it’s too far for you but it’s at St Catherine’s Lostock Hall, Chorley! It’s open to everyone as I understand. It not there might be something nearer. J x


This could almost be me and I suspect mirrors many in this site. My husband died in June. He was my carer so I now have a carer in every morning for 30 mins. I feel lost but somehow manage to carry on. I too had stomach problems but they seem to have settled. I have had a lot of headaches which I certainly didn’t used to have. I have problems sleeping. Have you experienced this? You’re right about the wait for bereavement services. I am just taking each day as it comes. Solve each problem as it arises and just try and ride out the bad ones like today. This site helps immensely with the support. Xx. Sandra


@Jax2 thank you for your reply. I’ve always been an over thinker unfortunately. My partner chose to die at home so we never had contact with the hospice. My local hospice only helps the relatives of those who were receiving treatment or died in the hospice x


@Pudding thank you for your kind reply. It is very early days for me but I’m frightened of disappearing down a very dark hole and not being able to get out. One day at a time x

1 Like

Just take it hour by hour in the early days
Day by day comes after a few weeks