I met the love of my life 7 years ago and after being best friends for 2 years, then fell deeply in love ( 41 years old) . He had been a victim of an abusive partner and his oldest teenager suffered the mental health consequences and made our lives very complicated. Neil got through cancer 2 years ago and then it came back in Sept last year, and he died in my arms 12 weeks ago. We planned our future on the basis that if we glcould get through all the ptsd of his daughters and the cancer then we could survive anything. I have spent 4 years trying to look after his daughter but she has turned on me since he died. I have adopted his younger son and we have just moved house together to the home Neil and I planned to set up home in. Neil was my best friend and we spent every moment we could together ( we worked together too). We swore we would never spend a night apart and now I go to bed every night without him. We went everywhere together and now I feel such a half person going out with friends. I cry every night when he is not next to me. I know I have to be strong for his/our son but I feel so cheated - we had so many plans together - please tell me it gets easier x
I am really sorry for your loss
Eventually will get a bit easier - Jack died 3 years ago and we were married 42 years
I miss him all the time , I talk to him often and I still don’t understand why it all happened
It gets easier because you will learn to live with your sorrow and your loss and the void that creates in your life .
Once I read a nook that said “ you learn to dance around the abyss !!”
There are a few things I learned:
Take a day at a time
Do what feels right for you at your own time
And accept that grief will be part of your life
I’m a volunteer with Sue Ryder and wanted to reach out and ask how you are. Having read your post I’m sorry you’ve had so much to deal with, before and since your partner passed away.
Please continue to write and reach out to us here, the community are very supportive.