Hi everyone. I’m new to the group. I lost my Dad in March 2024 and 10 weeks later I lost my Mom. Both unexpected. And totally devastating. My only sister and I are and always have been extremely close and she has been my rock. And vice versa. She was diagnosed with a rare lung condition some years ago and her condition started to decline after our Mom and Dad passed away. She was eventually placed on the urgent list for a double lung transplant in June and we have lived in hope of her receiving a call for the operation. On Friday I learnt that her condition has deteriorated to the point that the transplant team believe she would not survive the operation and so have removed her from the list. She is now on palliative care. She is 61. I know she’s still here and we have a little time to spend together even if just sitting in her lounge watching telly, but I am totally broken at the thought of losing her. I can’t stop crying. I imagine it’s the grief still of losing my mom and dad and now the prospect of losing my only sister. She is just amazing and I will be lost without her.
Hello @JAC11,
I’m Alex, and I’m part of the Online Community team. I wanted to say thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so very sorry to hear about the devastating losses of your Dad and Mum, and now the news about your sister’s condition. It’s completely understandable that you feel heartbroken - you’ve been through so much in such a short space of time.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources which might be helpful right now.
- Our Supporting someone at the end-of-life pages contain practical advice for those helping someone close to death and information about what you can expect when death is near.
- Our Anticipatory grief page talks about the feelings associated with grief in the days, months or years before someone dies. This is known as anticipatory grief, as you are grieving for someone who is still alive.
I hope you find the community a good source of support to you.
Take good care - you are not alone.
Alex
Hi Jac,
I’m so sorry for what you have gone through with your parents dying so unexpectedly and now possibly your sister also dying. That is very hard for you. My husband died of lung cancer in 2024 and even though we were prepared for it; if anyone can be, it was devastating! With your parents deaths, it sounds like you weren’t expecting it. That makes it even harder to deal with. My husband was 83 and I’m 79 so all family and friends are all up in Heaven with my husband and our cat. I’m left down here all alone like it sounds you might be also. I know I will be reunited in Heaven eventually with my husband, as you will be reunited with your family, but it still is hard to cope with the loneliness. Each day seems to get more empty. One thing that has helped me is prayer. I talk to God everyday and ask for help just to get through the day. He does answer my prayers and I pray about everything; keeping me safe when I’m driving the car, my finances, my personal health and my loneliness. I don’t say formal prayers. I just talk to God like he’s my best friend and he is. It helps a lot.
I’ll say a prayer for you and also for your sister. After all, December is coming up and there was a large miracle with the birth of Jesus. We can pray for a miracle for your sister that she gets well.
I wish you both the best.
Snowy Evening
I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Regardless of age it’s never easy and an unbearable pain. Thank you for thinking of me and sending you love.