Feeling anxious

It has been 6 weeks since my Dave passed away. Yesterday my good friend came to take me out. We went shopping and then for a meal in a pub. Whilst out i felt so anxious and although i needed to look for Christmas presents i could not focus. My friend was so good and tried to help me choose presents but i gave up in the end. So my thoughts are im just giving money this year. We went for a meal in the pub but my stomach was in knots and i have this constant feeling of feeling panicky going shopping and out for a meal was something i have always done with my friend and i know im safe and she understands. I just hate this feeling :disappointed:

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I don’t think any reasonable person would expect you to be fussing trying to find them presents right now so if you want to give money that’s completely appropriate.

Have you tried any relaxing exercises etc to help with anxiety? It’s really common and normal part of losing someone. Not that I’m good at practicing these kind of things myself but there are a lot of resources on these for dealing with loss and grief.

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@kingfisher067 thank you for your response. I know thats what i thought about presents i would rather give them money than get them something they didnt like. My family is fine with that it is Daves sons i was worried about.
No i havent tried relaxing exercises. I have never felt this panicky feeling and my stomach in knots. I have lost my dad 30 years ago and my mum 6 months ago and now my partner 6 weeks ago. I wasn’t sure if it was something anyone had felt after losing a partner.

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One of my brothers died ~15 years ago, my mother about 12 years ago and my father ~7 years ago, although I was sad and did some grieving I guess, it was nothing like loosing my wife. I don’t think I get too anxious, though do need to pause and take a breath now and then.

Anxiety is though really common part of loss and grief. The palliative care services have quite a lot of resources. I’m not sure if you’re in to technology but there also a number of apps for smartphones with relaxation exercises to help with anxiety. (My wife used them from time to time when see was worried about her illness.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re normal, just dealing with a horrible abnormal situation. Do you have anybody close that you can talk to? That might help??

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Hi. I have suffered with anxiety since my mum died two and a half years ago . Its an awful feeling , i take antidepressants which help. Try not to stress too much over Christmas , friends and family will understand its difficult for you. Take care.
Love Angie x

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@kingfisher067 i will have a look at relaxation exercises thank you.
It is a completely different feeling losing your partner.
I guesd i am hard on myself and i need to accept that i have to go through the horrible grieving process which is so encompassing. I have got some really good friends who are there for me which i am so grateful for.

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Thank you @Angie4. I just wish i wasnt going through this and so long for my life i had with my partner. I know that is something we all wish for x

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@Sue338 anxiety is a natural reaction. Maybe try and have a word with your gp and see if they can prescribe something to help.

But I’m like you. I cannot make a decision at all. I needed to buy a new suitcase and there were just too many. I must have walked round them all so many times, taking them off the shelves I think I was eyed up as a shoplifter. I chose the cheapest in the end, after about 30 minutes.

Hope you have a better day today

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@Paddy53 thank you for reassuring me that it is a natural reaction.
Isnt it funny when you are usually a person that can make decisions and now its something that is difficult.

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Exactly the same. Lost my husband 9 weeks ago. I am lost…even though ive got loads of support…the constant state of anxiety is just awful. Christmas i just want it to be over. I really hope you find some peace. Xx

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@Rachel64 im so sorry for your loss and its so hard isnt it. I hate my life now being lost and feeling so empty.

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Sue it is just the worst pain and feeling! This is great here but so remote i think Sue Ryder could do a lot better with support being offered.
I just think spring is coming but i will still be alone. X

Rachel it would be so good if there was somewhere you could go and meet people in the same situation and have people who completely understand what you are gojng through.
Its terrible that we are wishing our lives away to getting through Christmas in the hope that we are able to cope with this pain x

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I so agree Sue. I bet you live up north whilst i live in the south!
Its such a lonely experience. :slightly_frowning_face:

Yes i live in Warwickshire x

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What a shame! Still we have this form of communication xx

I know. If ever you want to message private message me that is fine :slightly_smiling_face:

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Can you do that on here

@Rachel64 if you click on my name i think it gives you the option to message privately x

I feel the same, I lost my husband on 5th November, so only 6 weeks, I’m anxious to go out in case I see anyone, I can’t concentrate on anything at all, I’m an emotional wreck, and I can’t see a future, because our future looking ahead involved both of us, not one of us. I’m so low, hate this feeling

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