Feeling betrayed by a therapist

6 months back when I lost my mom due to sudden cardiac arrest, I was in the bad shape of my life and I am still grieving, I was asked for counselling and found a great therapist who was always nice and sweet, because I wasn’t able to show a lot of progress she kept pushing me for antidepressants and I even took the step but after having the medicine for a day, it freaked me out and I had a big breakdown, I tried reaching her but she kept on ignoring me and earlier she told me she will be there if there is a crisis. I stopped the medicine and feel better but now she is just been ignoring me, making me feel all the empathy she showed me was just to earn money and I feel betrayed. I still have respect for her because she was there when my mom passed away but this sudden change makes me feel really sad.

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Hi Varun, so sorry to hear about your Mum. Counselling can be very helpful to talk through all the difficult feelings around grief and loss. I would say it’s unusual for a therapist to offer ad hoc or emergency crisis support, but would usually be a weekly session to hold you over a period of time. If you’re looking for short term or long term open ended counselling I would recommend searching for a BACP counsellor/psychotherapist via their website British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

Best wishes

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Yes counselling can be counter productive in some ways I found. As for anti depressants I agree they are not without downside. I hate people pressurising me as well. Don’t think it is their place to do that.
Yes I think they doing it for the money of course and wouldn’t think it was worth the fees unless it was free especially when I have them pressuring me to pay after the six free sessions.

I can understand your sadness - the counselling relationship is an unusual one. Ive had counselling and coaching and you are making yourself vulnerable and sharing your deepest thoughts, and if they are a good counsellor they dont judge, they always listen, they accept you as you are. So i think the brain finds that a bit confusing - it has all the characteristics of what youd love to have in a really great friendship, except the reality is its all one sided - they never spend an hour telling you about THEIR problems! :smile: Im sure the empathy they show is genuine - it would be hard to be a good counsellor WITHOUT empathy, but it is essentially a professional relationship the same as a nurse or doctor. I felt the same when my coaching sessions ended - they said theyd be available if i needed them but i quickly realised that it wasnt going to happen, and the only time they got in touch with me to see how i was doing was when they were hoping id be a referee for them!

Yes that is true about wanting you to be helping them along.
The worst counsellor I ever had spoke to me when I was out with my husband and it was so embarrassing as they are not supposed to do that. Just say a quick hi and keep it professional.
She cancelled an appointment so she could go horse riding so I wasn’t important.
I know she tried to rearrange me to favour her private patients it was so transparent.

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@Enorac This is something I don’t understand about counselling, I understand when we are depressed or in a really bad shape and they appear to be so comforting and helpful and it feels they want to genuinely help but sometimes it just feels like a profession or lets say a business and I feel people take advantage then. When I say that I don’t generalize for everyone but they need to really understand a person well what is their comfort level

Very true @Ally6, I really felt comfortable to my therapist in a professional way but later it made me realize that it is near business so they can maintain their lifestyle and you just feel betrayed, after a while she did ask me for reference and always had preferred high paying clients over others, makes me feel sad

I have experienced the same thing, but you know at times they make you so dependent on themselves that if you don’t like you somehow have no choice. They flash their lifestyle as well when I talk about my financial problems and I feel how can a person even understand if they have not experienced the same thing.

I think why should I have to struggle and go without so they can earn loads per hour and live in luxury. I do not buy this they have to pay for training because so did I and lots of other people.

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Maybe private counselling and psychotherapy isn’t what you’re looking for. Cruse is a free bereavement support service https://www.cruse.org.uk/
Also Sue Ryder Online Bereavement Counselling Service | Sue Ryder

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