Feeling crowded

I lost my wife 5 days ago due to cancer. I was able to share my love and so were our kids near the end and I know she had a “good death”.

I’m surrounded by people all wanting to help and asking me how we are. While I recognise the offers are all coming from a place of love I need some space by myself to start to come to terms with our loss. Any advice? I don’t want to offend anyone or stop a line of help that I might be grateful for in the future.


Hi @Tungsten,
I hear what you’re saying, when someone we love very much dies, it’s a big shock, which can be hard to take in, it’s understandable that you feel you need time to process this. I figure honesty is the best policy, tell them thank you for their kindness, but what you really need right now is time to process everything, but maybe agree a meetup for coffee or something to keep in touch.
Thought I will say, though everyone offers support after someone passed, through talking to many people on this forum, some of this support tends to disappear over time, but you can talk on here as often or as little as you need, whatevers comfortable for you.


I’m so sorry for your very recent loss. Everything will be a blur, and so, so emotional. When you lose someone through a long illness, where you know the outcome (as I did) it is no less shocking when it happens.

My advice is the same as @Pandaprincess - be honest with everyone.
Those who love you, and care about you will understand and respect you.
And those who don’t, really don’t matter.

And it really is okay for you to be selfish in how you learn to deal with and cope with your grief.

No words can help, so a virtual hug :hugs::hugs::hugs: