Feeling guilty - why?

Hi, why do i feel permanently guilty for being the one who is living (existing). Every time I even smile at something small. For example, i used to love Christmas, especially all the trees and lights. I found myself looking at a lights display the other day and then had the usual overriding feeling of guilt because my husband passed away in August and wasn’t here to enjoy them too. I feel so sad that he has now been robbed out of enjoying life’s simplest pleasures. Why do i feel so guilty, i just can’t explain it. Is it normal to always feel like this? Anyone else have these feelings? X

9 Likes

Guilt is most definitely a thing with grief and it will pass. I felt that same guilt, guilt for living when he couldn’t, guilt for feeling the sun on my face in spring, guilt that I got to see the flowers grow in our garden, a project we were doing when he died. Guilt when I laughed, danced, sang. Shit, everything made me feel guilty. Now, I know he would want me to experience all these things and I know now that he would be happy to see me surviving, he’d be very proud of me.

It does pass, give it time x

2 Likes

I hope you are right. I’m sure you are as you speak from experience. I think I’m impatient with myself. Pleased others have been through the same feelings. Thank you for that. I’ll just keep surviving until it hopefully eases a little. Thank you x

1 Like

Yeh it does get better … i didnt feel guilt at first. Too busy putting one foot in front of the other !!! That was a task in itself ! But i do now. I feel awful that i couldnt save him ? But like my daughter said today - he was his own man and you couldn’t have done anymore … its all crap innit … the whole thing ! I wish my life would take a direction but its just not happening and i feel like im bobbing around in the ocean with nowhere to really go ! Nothing really interests me :frowning: and these dark nights are just awful … makes you feel so isolated ! It does me anyway !

8 Likes

Everything i do i feel guilty my husband was 54 when he passed in july im 48 we were together for 25years i hate life without him :broken_heart:

5 Likes

I felt guilty when someone said well you had a crap 18 months with all his illness, treatment etc, but I’m guilty because I survived and he didn’t. :smiling_face_with_tear:

4 Likes

Paddy53, that’s exa tly how i feel. It’s not fair that they aren’t here to experience life with us. Breaks my heart both for myself and others. X

3 Likes