Went to a new cafe in Stratford today and ended up crying because he would have liked it and we would have gone for breakfast - guilt and sadness combined with anger that he is missing out and I won’t be building any more memories with him
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Hi jsg
I had the same experience in Stratford a few weeks back. I was thinking how much my lovely husband would have loved it. I even thought about what he would have ordered. It seems so unfair. For me the feeling did pass as I walked around the shops, but it is always likely to just suddenly pop up again and that overwhelming sadness hits. Thank goodness we can say these things here and we all understand and you don’t have to explain.
Take care
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My guilt is based around wishing I could take some things back, I know it’s impossible but Cancer took her more quickly than we expected. No proper goodbye telling her I loved her. I gave others the time to say their farewells thinking i had time that I did not.
Not sure that’s ever going
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Thank you for expressing all the guilty feelings so well. I always thought that I would go first as he was so fit and healthy. He would have coped so much better than me. I feel so guilty that I didn’t spend more time with him in the last few weeks - we were both so busy working in the garden after being away for a month. I should have noticed that he was getting stomach pains - I keep finding nearly empty packs of indigestion tablets in his pockets. I should have insisted that he was taken to hospital in an air ambulance as the doctors didn’t realise how bad he was as he never complained or made a fuss. I should have insisted on staying with him that first night too. - if he had gone into ICU straight away he might have survived the sepsis.
@SkyeGardener
Those ‘what if’s are so hard to live with and not dwell on aren’t they? Richard’s cousin said he had told his auntie he got pains in his chest sometimes but I didn’t know that
I think it’s something to work on leaving behind if possible though, as what happened can’t be changed and beating ourselves up about it isn’t going to help anyone.
I hope you will find some peace in your heart soon.
Love
Karen xxx
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