Feeling lonely

3 weeks tomorrow since my partner past away , the images of finding him on the floor in his flat still grip me every day , I never thought I’d lose him at the age of 42, I can’t see how I’ll ever feel ok again :pensive:

4 Likes

So sorry to hear about your sad situation , life is so unfair, they think my partner had a massive epileptic fit , I found him when he didn’t turn up for work , Iv been to my doctors, he has given me antidepressants and sleeping pills , I feel like I’m doing ok and then a massive wave of sadness hits me , the pain seems unbearable at times , feels like I’m in another life , I miss him so much, sending you my love in your difficult time

2 Likes

Hi @Ward my partner was 42 and I feel the same, it’s been 3 weeks and I am still feeling like it’s all a bad dream. Taking day by day but also dreading waking each morning to start another day :disappointed:

2 Likes

I feel the same , I’m on strong sleeping tablets at the moment and feel like that’s my best part of the day , when they Knock me out for the night, and then it all starts again the following morning

3 Likes

@Ward I am trying to organise something every day so I have to get up and out everyday. Otherwise I would stay at home and cry :pensive: life seems so unfair, why our partners when they were so young x

I’m doing the same but work wise , I’m doing so many hours at the moment just to keep me busy and my mind off things, it seems to be the only way of coping at the moment, or like you I’d just sit and cry all day xx

I haven’t returned to work yet, I can’t face it :disappointed: dreading it but I know I will have to soon. I have an operation this week which I have waited 2 years to have so once I’m recovered from that I’ll be going back. Nothing seems normal anymore, I don’t know how to plan a day and everything takes me twice as long, do you find this too? X

Yes I can’t plan anything and not interested in much either, just going to work I find helps a little, but when I get home I break down , we did so much together I find I can’t do anything without it reminding me of the life we had , I find it impossible at the moment to do anything we did together, I think part of me is blocking stuff out , it was so suddenly and such a shock , I also found him on the floor, he’d been gone an hour they said , he’d had a massive epileptic fit, and didn’t come round from it xx

@ward that must have been so awful for you and traumatic too. We lost my dad who was 54 in similar circumstances 5 years ago. One thing I do take comfort in was the time I did get to spend by Lee’s side I know we were lucky to have that chance to say our goodbyes and love you’s. Have work been good? I’m worried as soon as I’m back it’ll be like I haven’t been off and it’ll be straight back to the stress of it all x

Sorry to hear about your dad too , must be terrible for you , I had 2 weeks off work but all I was doing was sitting crying and my mind would wonder and ask the same questions over and over , I needed to do something to take my mind off it all , his mom and sister seem to be coping a lot better then me , and I sometimes think am I being silly, but I can’t pull myself together, we had so many plans , plus his funeral isn’t until the 17th of November, that will set me back again , do you have a good set of people supporting you ? Xx

@ward yes I have an amazing support system around me, my eldest daughter who’s only 16 has been amazing and loved him so much she gets how I’m feeling. I have a large family and lots of friends but he was my best friend as well as partner so no amount of support seems to help. I think 2 weeks is so soon and without the funeral you are so brave facing work, take time for you too as you need those days to cry and just be in your grief x always here to chat.

My children are 22 and 16 and they have been really good , I also have my mom staying with me since it happened, but like you say even with all the support Its still so hard and painful ,I’m always here to talk too , if you need to xx

1 Like

I think our age makes it harder too, I’ve already had comments about meeting someone else as I’m so young. Seems so insensitive :pensive: I know people mean well but I feel like shouting at them as if they don’t understand how much he meant to me and always will x

Me too , iv had friends say you will love again and be happy again , I can’t see that happening , he was my hero and soulmate, it’s so much harder losing your partner young, people don’t understand you had all your life planned out with this person , how can anything be the same again , they don’t understand it xx

2 Likes

Exactly, I am mourning the life we had but also the life we had planned and now won’t have :broken_heart: some think it’s easier having less time but i don’t think it is! It’s hard however way it happens, I’m just gutted we had so many plans and years ahead of us. And yes we said we were soul mates too and that can’t be found again I don’t believe xx

It’s horrible losing the love of your life at any age , but I agree I think it’s harder when your younger and had fewer years together, because you lose your whole future too and all the plans you both had together, were the unlucky ones who have been ripped apart, we will never grow old with our partners and never live a full live together, and you feel guilty too that your still here and they are gone , they never got to grow old xx

2 Likes

Exactly :heart: it’s so nice to chat to others who understand just how I feel xx

Same here , anything you need to talk about just message me , it’s really good to talk to someone who understands xx

1 Like

I cry myself to sleep every night

2 Likes

It’s so hard isn’t it, I hope you find comfort here amongst others who know what you are feeling. I certainly am x

1 Like