Feeling lost and alone

It’s 2 months since my husband of 47 years lost his brave fight with pancreatic cancer. I am surrounded by a lovely group of longstanding friends and my 2 grown up boys, their partners and my little ray of sunshine, my 6 year old granddaughter. It’s only now beginning to kick in that Kevin is gone and I just suddenly feel so lost and alone. I’m fit and healthy with lots of interests, tennis, gym classes, book club, film and theatre and more but right now feel that I’m going through the motions. I just so miss sharing my day with the love of my life and best friend. My heart hurts…For him I’m trying to live every day and appreciate and be grateful for what I’ve got. I know that time will help me heal but right now it’s tough. Hugs to all you out there who’ve lost a loved one. X


So very sorry for your loss. You sound just like me. I lost my darling
Husband suddenly 2 months ago 3 days before our 48th wedding anniversary and l miss him with all my heart. He was my rock and my life. He was so lovely. We met at 17 and married at 19. I too have a wonderful supportive family and friends but l just miss my darling husband and wish he could just be here to hold my hand. This is the worse feeling ever and l just pray it gets a little easier. Sending you a hug. x


Thanks for the hug Chris. Have you ever read The Boy, the mole, the fox and the horse. I open a different page every day and think of what I read as a message from Kevin. The one I keep in my head is “sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent”.
Kevin would want me to be brave and magnificent so that’s what I’m trying to do. You take care and be kind to yourself. X


So sorry for both your losses. I lost my wonderful husband 5 weeks today, to say I’m heartbroken is an understatement. Like you, I am so lucky to have wonderful family and friends but at the moment, everything is surreal and I feel I’m looking in on the situation, rather than being a part of it. I came across some photos today, and that dread in the pit of my stomach rose to the surface and I cried my eyes out. You both take good care, Enud xx


Dear @adrienneb21 , @Enud, @Chris

I too lost my husband earlier this year, 9th April to be exact. I felt totally useless for the longest time, my life had revolved around him, more so in the six weeks before he lost his war!! I felt as if my whole purpose in life had gone.

It’s extremely difficult for others to understand, unless they too have lost someone, and then I think of his brother and sister and how they must be feeling losing another younger brother and with their mum only passing three months earlier.

It’s still very early days for us all. I’ve had an awful weekend, weekends are the worst, tomorrow is another day and we will get up and be brave and magnificent.

Take care, look after yourselves. x


Thank you for replying Adrienne and l wanted you to know l was give that very book as a gift just recently but Two lovely friends who don’t live nearby. It is such a simply beautiful book full of charming little sketches and words that touch your heart. Take care of yourself and you are so right about our husbands not wanting us to be sad because that was my Paul’s biggest fear.
It is so hard though and l just hope it eases just a little as the days pass. x

Dear Enud,
I am so very sorry for your loss and thank you for taking time to reply to to myself and Adrienne. That is such a kind act when you are suffering grief so badly yourself. I find it so hard to come to terms with my Paul not being here and could never have realised that being without him would feel so very lonely - even with a wonderful family and such good friends.
I seem to be pushing friends away at the moment and it isn’t that l don’t love them but every time they sympathise l cry and l hate it that they look so lost and don’t know what to do.
Just a bit fragile and too early to be worrying about others l think but l do.
Please take care of yourself and sending you a big Welsh Cwtch. xxx

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Thank you for your thoughtful reply Jilly and what a lovely person you must be to think of your Husband’s family when you are grieving yourself. I try to keep the tears at bay when my family, children and friends are around as l know how much they loved Paul and also miss him as he left us so suddenly. I know how much they must hurst too.
Take care of yourself too Jilly and am always here should you wish to contact me. xx

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