Feeling lost

LGBTQ+
1

48 days ago my partner of 23 yrs passed and I’m feeling so lost without her by my side :disappointed_face: The last 6 months have been so difficult watching her life slowly being taken from her and all I could do was be by her side telling her how brave and strong she was and that God would restore her to health as I constantly prayed for this , now I think God did restore her to health but took her as well which was never something that I expected.. I’m so lost and the pain is affecting my whole life as I can’t sleep or eat properly,

I keep asking her to visit me in my dreams to let me know she is ok and just have a cuddle and a laugh as we had so much fun and love & laughter in our life together and I miss her so so much my heart aches , I wear a necklace which holds some of her ashes and I talk to her and let her know how things are going in my life every day and thank her for loving me and teaching me so many things in life but I feel cheated at times as she was only 58 and didn’t want to die , the grief and sorrow I feel overwhelms me most days and I try and count my blessings for having found my soulmate and having 23 yrs with her but the grief is so raw and I just feel like a shadow of myself without her .. I’m sure others are going through so much pain especially during the festive season :pensive_face:

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I remember your previous thread, @JEM06, I’m so sorry to hear that your partner has died.

I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump; I’m sure someone will be along to share their support :blue_heart:

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Only just found your post. I could have written it word for word. I lost my wife in January and I am totally lost and alone. We were together for 25 years and I cannot explain the loneliness I feel. It’s like losing half my body! We were together 24/7 we laughed every day. The house is so quiet now. I’ve tried to find something to fill my time but so far I’ve failed! I carry a small tin of her ashes in my pocket wherever I go. Your comment about dreams is so accurate. I ask her every night to come in my dreams and just hold my hand. I stare at her photos every hour or so and talk to her all the time. I really hope it gets easier with time but I miss and love her so much it physically hurts. I truly hope you are feeling better but I doubt it. Keep in touch and we can support each other a little. Sending hugs.

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Thank you for your message :folded_hands:, I cried reading yours as I felt your raw pain and sorrow .. I’m still grief stricken and feel so sad every day as I miss her in every way and it’s day 171 today .. I am still hoping to dream of her and be able to give her a cuddle .. I have woke up a couple of times and felt her presence and heard my name being called and even a slight touch on my hand which has made me so happy but sad at the same time .. I try to keep busy on the weekends as I find them the worst times to get through and I think I’m sleeping a little better and my diet has improved so I think she would be happy that I’m trying to look after myself , sending you a big hug and know that your not alone I’m happy to keep in touch :folded_hands::hugs: