Hi everyone, I have just signed up minutes ago… On 14th July I lost my nan, she was more like a 2nd mum to me… It was a short illness and she was 90 I guess people say its expected but I have lost other family members in recent years my mum 2014, grandad 2016, my dad 2017 and now my nan. Each time a piece of me went with them and now I am completely lost without them all… How do you cope with a lot of loss… I dont feel needed, I feel abandoned, guilty, depressed, angry and thats towards all of them…
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Hi you have suffered so many losses it’s hard enough for me losing my husband you gone through a lot. Your going to feel every emotion going I hope you have friends that can support you . X
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Hi. KatyV. Welcome, and you are among friends who know and understand. People get old and die, it’s a fact of life, but knowing that does not make it any less painful or bearable.
‘Abandoned, guilty, depressed, angry’. Would it surprise you to know many of us feel or have felt that way. All those emotions are bereavement symptoms. Why do you feel guilty? Why your anger towards all of them? Anger is another common symptom. ‘Why me?’ We can become angry with the world because it all seems so cruel and unfair.
You have been so unfortunate in your losses being so close together. You may have just begun to get things together when it happens all over again. That is very sad! But try not to indulge in self pity. That emotion can only lead to despair.
If you come back and talk to us I am sure you will get many replies. We all know and care. John.
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Thank you for your kind words. It does feel like 1 after the other… People say I’m a kind caring person and all I think is why has this happened to me… I’m not saying at all my losses are less or more than someone else’s loss but yes I seem to think I can carry on and then I lose someone again… I feel guilty as I should have done more its complicated my relationship with my parents was complicated if I could have split myself into 2 than I would of but that is not possible… I appreciate any response to this and appreciate you taking the time to read my post and reply to me… I am returning to work on Monday after 3 weeks off im nervous but know i cant stay away any longer… Life goes on no matter how much I want it to stop or even slow down for a while… I send love and kindness to everyone who is struggling after loss x
Hi we all think what if we could have done more etc but we can’t change anything as much as we want to. It’s hard a long journey ahead we do what we need to do work will be a distraction for you take care x
I came to this site after losing parents, now I lost an old friend.
I had to very very slowly adjust to losing my elders. they are also protectors. so I learned to protect myself. I learned to comfort myself, appropriately, and to care for myself. all these things were good things because at some point in life, people may find themselves alone, for a little bit.
it just takes oodles of time where you must learn patience. in terms of grieving, grief support helped a lot.
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Katy
Thinking of you & you are so brave going back to work - I am sure that you will have comfort & kindness from those around you. We are all here for you too. Alison x