The first year I was on auto pilot .Now it just feels so lonely. I can be surrounded by people and still feel isolated. For the five years my husband was Ill he was my everything .He was so so strong never gave in and always made the best of things even though he was in so much pain .I feel like I am letting him down feeling like I do x
Please never feel that you are letting your partner down. I’m sure he would be the first to say that to you too. My husband passed away very recently and I spent a lot of his last few weeks in tears. I used to apologise constantly and say that I was letting him down (I’d kept strong throughout most of his illness). He told me I could never let him down. Be kind to yourself my lovely x
Hello Kath and Jules. Don’t you think our loved ones would be a little bit disappointed if we weren’t a bit sad? I think they’ll be really proud of what we’ve achieved so far and they will definitely know how loved they were, they are.
I think we are so very sad because we love them so very very much. Xx
Many of us will have that same feeling of letting down the soulmate we have lost. My husband would hate to see me floundering like I am some days but conversely would be proud of me at other times.
You are not letting your husband down by feeling as you do. Life for all of us on this forum has been shattered and so many plans left unfulfilled. We never imagined having to go it alone and we are learning to live a very different life from the one we hoped to live together.
Each day brings its own challenges and some days are easier to negotiate than others. We never envisaged living like we do now and how we feel day to day is an unknown quantity. We are wounded and healing is a very slow and painful process. I know my husband would hate to see me so broken but he would understand why I am. I agree with Jules, Kate and Janet - be kind to yourself .x