Feeling lost

Lost my amazing husband 6 weeks ago today, I’m devastated he fought so hard he was a very young 62, I cry and cry feel so alone and think I’m a burden too our elder kids, they are both nearly weds and he was lucky too be at our eldest wedding in July, our youngest is 15 I just need look at her and I cry, life’s cruel and at first people come visit but it soon wares off, I’m just lost

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@Appy70

So sorry for your loss.
It is very early in your journey, try to be kind to yourself. Your children have lost their amazing father just as you have lost your amazing husband. Grief is exhausting and relentless. You will all have your own thoughts and feelings to be dealing with and I hope that you will be able to support each other.
There is no time limit and no right or wrong way. Just know that what you are feeling is (for want if a better word) normal!
Like anything since we lost them is “normal” anymore!
Nothing that anyone can say will make you feel better. If only it was that simple. The thing is, if we hadn’t loved them so much, it would hurt so much!
I lost my amazing husband exactly a year ago today and even with a lovely family and friends support network, I still cry and feel alone at times. I know that lost feeling too.
Early in my journey I was consumed by it, didn’t know what to do, what to say or what to think.
Wishing you well and sending big hugs

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Thank you I honestly don’t think people who haven’t lost a partner understand, I lost my mum 12 yrs ago suddenly and was distraught but this is so different, some comments I’ve had frm so called friends oh u was lucky have him so long how is it lucky being a widow at 52, I’m getting bitter towards so called friends as I just think u have no idea one, said oh it’s made youngest grow up she’s 15 I told her too leave we had ten months of chemo him being so poorly and our youngest seeing how poorly he was think I’m better not seeing people at the minute family are all I need

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Hi Appy70, I feel the same as you. Four weeks ago today I lost my husband. he was 44 and I’m 46. People said to me that our love was something they had never seen and so extra special maybe that’s why it was so short. we were so lucky. we were together for 20 years. Like you said what’s lucky about being a widow at our ages. I too lost my dad 16 years ago and this is so completely different. I am so lost without Greg and am constantly reminded all day that I am alone. I have no family or friends here to support me. I don’t think we should grieve alone. Its so hard and painful and in those most overwhelming moments when I feel like giving up I just need someone here to talk to and there isn’t anyone here. This place is good to get stuff out and we know we do all know how each other feels.

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So sorry, our 15 yr old is my focus so my point in getting out of bed she stayed at her friends at the weekend and I was so lost , so I’ve no idea how you feel, it’s a lonely road and one I wish we wasn’t on, memories that pop up it’s our middle daughter wedding anniversary on the 7th and looking bk my hubby saying oh I’m nervous never given anyone away before he was so proud, you think we had two yrs of covid we virtually stayed home as I’m high risk we should have gone too Italy as that’s where the wedding was obvs covid changed that, a cruise we had booked for his 60 th that didn’t happen, for the world too be opening up he retired in November last yr, so that was our time, to find out he had pancreatic cancer on the 6 th dec, oh it’s been caught early quick op quick round chemo he will be fine, it was nothing like that, I’m bitter everything that was planned has been taken, it’s the small things too youngest just gone too school so a day of me pottering about not doing much not going out , it’s a lonely existence

its good you have your kids. it must be hard losing a parent at that age. it was hard enough when I was 30. we too were told one thing about Greg’s treatment and had encouraging news half way and then nothing went how it was meant to. I never expected this. Its extra hard on my own and I get that too, the small things. They are overwhelming to me because its all compounding and too much. I potter around too most days. I guess we all do what we can to get through the days, especially these early days.

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Good morning appy 70 sending you and everyone a virtual tight hug. It’s 3years for me now and I can remember early on how are you going to adjust and you don’t want to. You want life as it was. Sometimes now I look back and think how I was and look at myself now and realise I’ve made progress. You have to be very patient with yourself. Little steps. You will feel anger resentment and I still do seeing ideal families and you just want that back. My wonderful son is getting married next April and while I’m excited it is with a heavy heart but I will enjoy the day as if my darling husband was here because that’s what he would want. It’s those moments when you think about what they would want help get you through. I’m sorry I really do ramble but the little things are for you a big achievement. Take care

Good morning, your right I know they say life goes on, it’s just how and when I think about my mum I know you get the happy memories as time goes by, it’s just now those happy memories for my husband arnt happy thru just make me sad, we found out in July we was going too become grandparents in Jan and I’ll never forget he said one in one out, obvs I said stop that please we did everything early for this baby so his grandad could help pick his pram and things it was a lovely day even if he was so tired he had too sit down, some of the things he picked our daughter was like omg no dad lol he laughed that’s something I will always have, he insisted on paying for everything he was so excited , he was always so happy never in a mood is nick name was appy and our daughter said mum think how he was with everyone no one didn’t like him, and I’ve got a lovely grandson coming who I’m sure will keep me busy just wish he was here sharing it, sorry too ramble on

Gn247 we got too stay strong and try I’ve even said too kids I need a hobby but if I’ve done everything in twos it’s quite daunting on your own early days yet virtual hug

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