Feeling lost

My lifes a mess. Lost my darling husband in 2021. After his death i had to move out of our lovely home we built up together due to finances and i moved back with my mum. I’m 61 and feel like my back to square one i love my mum to bits and she keeps saying this is my home aswell now but i feel its her house my personal belonging are all stored in boxes in garage no room to get them out. I do all i can for her but feel like a lodger. Feeling so lost don’t know where my lifes going. Just feeling so sad today. Want my old life back i know that will never happen. Every day is so hard can’t tell my mum how i feel she’s been so good to me all my life . Also I’m scared of something happening to her . I just wouldn’t cope without her. Am i being silly I’m got no one to exactly talk to, just keep it bottled up inside and its making me so sad. Today is the first day im cried for ages thought i was getting better then wham it comes back. :cry: lifes so hard.

7 Likes

No youre not being silly ! Our lives have changed so much ! Im sat here thinking Sunday wouldve been a lovely day with him whilst we just relaxed but now its just filled with sadness and regret for the life i had - which was so cruelly taken away ! Im managing to stay in same house we shared but its still tough - trust me ! But what difference does it make where we are because it still crap wherever we are :frowning: xx

8 Likes

Thanks when we lose someone it affects so much of our lives we’re never the same again. Have a good day x

5 Likes

Hi, what you’re feeling is how how most people would feel in your position i think.

There’s an old expression, when things are good it doesn’t last and when things are bad it doesn’t last, so things will improve in time.

Is there any plans that you can think about to get your own place in the future? Could the garage at your mums be converted into an extra room that could be just yours?

Is there a friend that is in a similar situation that you could rent a place together?

If you could think that this is temporary & it’s good that your able to spend quality time with your m7m for the time your living there.

2 Likes

It’s not silly at all. If your mum is all you have then it’s understandable that you worry about losing her.
However, as we have already learnt, that may not be the outcome. We have no control over what’s going to happen and you’re worrying over something that you can’t control.

What can you do? Can you afford to get a place of your own? Could you ask your mum if you can have some space for your belongings?

Just talking on here may be enough to offer some relief to you. Sorry, not really being that helpful.

3 Likes

So sorry to hear your loss and what you are going through. It’s nice to be able to spend quality time with your mum though. Do you think there’s any chance you could get a place close to your mum, possibly to buy or rent? That would enable you to feel like you have your own space with your own things, and you would be close by to visit your mum regularly. We all manage to cope in our own ways. I lost my mum in May (she was 90 and I’m 53) and I am still heartbroken, it is such a huge loss. Big hugs to you. xxx

2 Likes