Feeling numb...

Coping with bereavement
21

I’ve had councelling before coming to university and even then they just told me to write a journal or poems and seperate my home life from my school life and it’s not that easy.

I’d rather stay studying it sometimes helps keep my mind busy it doesn’t always work but without uni I’d be doing nothing and then my brain with kick in with thoughts and memories and I’ll just feel like I’m going backwards.

I’ve been told about the stages and about jumping between them from a friend she said it’s not all as black and white as they suggest it is she said even now years later she still finds herself in some of the boxes as it’s not as easy for everyone.

I tend to wear long jumpers all different textures and I never realised why until you’ve explained I guess in a way it might be a comforter for me as I very rarely wear anything smooth… the long sleeves also distract me from scratching my wrists which are now covered in tattoos to also distract me from scratching them as I’d wreck my ink.

I’m only at lectures two days a week however some days I just cannot face the world or I haven’t slept and I feel so drained that I try and sleep and end up spending the whole day laid awake yet still tried.

I guess I understand my friends and how they are around me… most of them are free to listen no matter what time of the day but I get so scared to open up to them about things as sometimes my thoughts aren’t exactly the nicest of things for people to hear so I bottle up.

I’ve spoken to my tutor and due to the University where I live offering the a similar course at a lower level they won’t fund it. Also if I took a year out I fear I’d loose focus and never go back.

Wow I didn’t realise you did so much there’s alot of options there I wouldn’t have ever considered and I think the whole thing about schedules and making sure you do something that day like the getting out of bed or photo challenges and stuff it all sounds rather interesting.

I think I’ll seek out a GP and go from there I think I’ll also concider alot of what you have said in regards to everything. My room at uni is plain simple four white walls and it sometimes doesn’t feel very homely I think having positive things or things that remind me of home would be a good start. Again the whole seeking other forms and groups and seeing a GP is something I think I need to crack on with. Thank you xx

22

It is often more complicated then that. It’s so hard to know what will help and what influences what sometimes.

I can completely relate to that. It’s why I held on to studying for so long - I needed it to keep me occupied. I just reached the point where I couldn’t do it any more.

I think with options of things that help, sometimes you just have to work out what works for you, and when something does work you write it down so you remember on the not-so-good days.

I hope it goes well with your GP

xxx

23

I guess so I just try take each day as it comes at the moment. I’m just trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t and thanks xx

1 Like
24

Hi there Titanic,
things are very raw for you. I don’t know what University you are attending but It may be worth going to your student services or whatever they are called and ask for their advice. Problems with academic stuff it may be an incentive to focus your mind—I have just restarted my MA dissertation now, but it is hard work concentrating–but it can also add to your stress with assignments. Good idea to pre-empt any future problems by having them logged and complete an extenuating circumstances form just in case you have to miss out or delay and assignment. Ask for referral again for support either from a counsellor or a student welfare adviser. Student services can also log your issues with your department and tutors so if any issues that may arise at least you will be covered for them and wont be penalized. I wonder if your uni has a student nightline so you can unload to them if needed? Due to a technical problem this end I am unable to read some of the previous sites. so apologies if I have gone over familiar territory. If there is a need you can ask about taking an interruption of study, taking a break from it all and going back to it later?
Please look after yourself
Dave

25

Hi David, You’ve covered some of what has already been said to me and you’ve provided more information in some areas. I have spoken to university regarding some aspects but there not very helpful. Everyone has advised me to see a GP so I’m planning on doing that also.