Feeling of loss seems to not go away

Hi, this is a new experiance for me as I haven’t used a online community before. I didn’t know where to go for advice. Nearly 3 years ago I lost my mother she had a number of complex medical issues and I was her primary carer for around 3 years, she passed away very quickly, within 48hrs of Sepsis which was a complete shock.
It is nearly 3 years since I lost her and I still feel like it was yesterday, I dont seem to be able to grieve is this normal… friends say I should be over it after this length of time but it does not seem as easy as that…

Hi Ianb
Sorry for the loss of your mum.
I don’t think loss ever goes away, we just learn ways to adapt to it.
Grief affects us all uniquely and there is no right or wrong way of coping with it. Grief can come when you least expect it. There is no normal.
Sometimes we don’t know how to grieve or we prevent ourselves from grieving because life goes on and we feel we have to hold it all in. Your mind and body will guide you on what’s right for you. Just live in the moment and go with the flow. 3 yrs is still early days. You have just lost a parent so don’t put pressure on yourself to rush anything. You will grieve when you are ready and in a way that is right for you
Lyn

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I lost my dad 18mths ago and it took me a while to absorb the shock and trauma. When I think of dad which is all the time, I try to gain comfort knowing he is now at peace, no more suffering or the weariness of getting older and battling illness. It will always be surreal but time is a great healer and you will work your way through it

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Hi. lanb. I think Lyn has just about covered it all. As she says, time is immaterial. Grief can still be there years after.
‘You should be over it by now’!!! Absolute nonsense! How do they know anyway? Have they been where you are now? If they had there is no way they would talk like that, which can be hurtful.
Take care, and as Lyn says, go with the flow. Bend with the wind. Those emotions will come when you are ready.
Take care and best wishes.

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