Feeling overwhelmed

Hi everyone, just new to community.
My lovely dad died (86) on the 3rd of July after a short illness, totally out of the blue and even with palliative care took 14 days to pass. I’m an only child so we were very close. At first Mum and I were numb and then after the funeral - wham it was like a truck hitting us. I have ended up in an emotional meltdown being thrown back into a clinical depression. With extreme anxiety. Hardly able to get out and I’m not at work . Luckily I work with my own GP surgery and have had great support. My anxiety was all round my mum- was she alright , was someone visiting her ,was she going to her knitting club. She was and is doing well. Although as you all know her tears and sadness are nearly always present. The anxiety had continued to build and is very bad when i visit her . I have wondered in the last 2 days that it is keeping building because I am not really addressing the loss of dad and moving it to worry for mum as avoidance. Yesterday and today I have managed to cry more but for dad, not as an out of control anxiety crying. It feels like a “better” cry. Does this sound probable. I am on strong medication which has allowed me now to get out of bed get dressed etc, and I’m glad to say still allows me to feel emotions.
Any advice words of wisdom would be great

Hi Fionamary,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your lovely dad and the depression and anxiety you’ve been dealing with since then.

I hope it helps a little bit to be able to write things down here. It does sound as though that was a useful insight about your worry for your mum sometimes being a kind of avoidance. It is important to give yourself the chance to grieve properly, and a “good” cry can certainly be a positive thing.

There are lots of other members here who understand the pain of losing a loved one. Amylou92 posted the other day about losing her dad, and she is also feeling a lot of worry and guilt about her mum - perhaps you might find it helpful to chat to her? You can read and reply to her post here: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/losing-my-dad-and-feeling-guilty-about-leaving-my-mum

If there’s anything I can help with, just give me a shout.

Priscilla

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