Feeling overwhelmed

I lost my mum 2 years ago i am really struggling with things at the minute my husband left me 3weeks ago because of my mood swings im menapausal it was my mums anniversay and with mothers day approaching i cant stop crying . The problems at home are made worse by the fact that i would go to my mum for support if i felt low and shes not here . My husband doesnt understand why i miss her and why her going changed me as a person . I was mums carer for 5 years and then suddenly she was gone and that massive void appeared in my life . Ive got 2 older boys so they no longer need me as much .i did get myself a part time job but my mum is in my thoughts every day . I think i really miss being able to talk to her and her understanding how i feel emotionally and her giving me that hug of reassurance that only mums can give .i really have got so many things going off together that it is becoming overwhelming so im trying to reach out for support and try to break things down and deal today with the grief that i feel over my mum

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Sending hugs your way :heart: Im not in a great place myself today so im not sure ill be of much comfort to you, but just to say you’re not alone. I lost my mum 4 months ago and cared for her the last year of her life. She was absolutely the one person who made me feel cared for and loved unconditionally and i feel completely bereft without her. :sleepy: I am totally in need of a mum-hug right now! im also waiting on blood tests to confirm if im permenopausal because the grief and desperation gets so intense when my hormones fluctuate (like today!) so i understand when you talk about mood swings!

Are you receiving any support from your gp regarding menopause symptoms? I believe that grief can also then make them worse. And would you consider accessing counselling, or going to a bereavement group with like minded people? Theres often something running locally if you look online.

Hugs to you :hugs:

losing a loving mother is the hardest thing in the world. your men will eventually come around. they are just adjusting to you not being the full-time wife and mother. these losses cause real tension in a family because the losses are so large and unprecedented. it can cause havoc in relationships, very easily. they are perhaps not used to you putting your needs and emotions first. and now you are, as you are overwhelmed with grief and that is where you are.

but I know how bad it feels when I allow someone to bully me and make me lose my focus on what I need. like a betrayal to myself and that is no good either.

they say when people are disrespectful, let them. continue to care for yourself and grieve and counseling and support groups helped me a lot. when you show even someone like a husband you are going to care for yourself, come hell or high water, they eventually “get it” and respect you for it. a changing dynamic in a relationship if you will. :heart: