I’m so sorry to read that your mum passed away in July. It’s a heartbreaking experience and, from what you write, your mum was so much to you. My mum died in February, very suddenly, and even months on I still have times when it is all a struggle. There are better days, and then there are those times when I just want to crawl under a rock and shut out the world. All you can do is take each moment for what it is, and try not to look too far ahead because that can seem scary.
The missing goes on. There are so many ways in which I miss her, and every one of them hurts. Not all my friends can understand because they still have their mums around. I feel like I am changing - I can’t be the same person I was when she was alive and near by. There is such a black hole where she used to be, and sometimes I feel as though I have lost so much of myself into it.
There are so many people on here, and lots of chats, where you can find people who know how you feel and what you are going through. It helps to know you are not alone in this. Take care and keep posting.