We had my lovely hubby’s funeral yesterday which was, and I know this sounds odd, the most amazing day. We had a celebration of life and also added some lovely and unusual personal touches. I’ve had company all day but I knew that the feelings would build jp once I was finally alone. Im sitting here now and feel such pain and loneliness that I don’t know how I’m going to live my without my hubby. I know I have to try and build a new life, and I know that I have to keep myself busy and fill the hours but the enormity of my situation is hitting home and overwhelming me. Everyone loved and admired my hubby so much, he was the kindest person I have ever known, he never thought of himself, and was always putting everyone else first. My pain at his loss is unbearable.
I’m so sorry for your loss nannym, I know exactly how you feel the emptiness around the house is unbearable I say house because it really don’t feel like home without my hubby here, the silence is deafening he didn’t make a lot of noise but the russel of his paper or the blowing of his nose just little things oh how I wish to hear them now,
Sorry gone off on a tangent, but always hear to listen when needed
Hi Nannym. The process of grief is more than painful isn’t it? How do you describe such a thing? You can’t! It’s so early for you and your emotions will still be raw.
A funeral should celebrate a life well lived. We mourn, but in some cultures they rejoice. I know what you mean about it being an amazing day. But saying goodbye is never easy and you are now suffering the ‘after shock’ as I call it.
The pain and loneliness is the worse part of this process called grieving. It all feels so final.
This site is a good place to be because we all understand. Very few who have not suffered in this way will understand. You were very wise to come here.
You say you will have to build a new life, and that’s good, but take it easy; give yourself time. Let the emotions out, no trying not to feel emotional. Just let it all come. Grieving is a process we need go through, and denying that fact can lead to despair.
Now take care, and be as kind to yourself as you can. Be as your husband would want you to be. I believe we are still being watched over and we will surely meet again. Blessings, and please come back and talk if you want. We do listen, all of us.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I could have written your post myself. We had my husbands funeral on Tuesday and after the actual service I found myself smiling and laughing with others. Now I feel even more lost than I did before. I feel like I’ll never get over losing him. It was all such a shock.
How do we move forward? I just don’t know
I am 7 months down the line now in my grief.
The only advice I can give about moving forward is don’t push it, let yourself move forward at the rate your body and brain tells you to.
I can’t say things get easier, but they get different and you mourn them in different ways
I am at the stage where I am not tearful as much ,more empty inside and deeply deeply sad .
We all deal with this terrible thing differently
Take care xx
The sadness is unbearable
Yes the sadness is very acute right now, theres an inner lonliness that can’t be reached no matter how many visitors I have. I’ve cried so hard that it physically hurts and I keep thinking about why he had to go first!
Jonathan thank you so much for such kind soothing words, I am really grateful that I found this site, it does help to talk. As you say not many people understand if they haven’t been here walking this long
and lonely road.