Feeling so alone

My dad had dialysis for 4 years, on his 80th birthday the consultant asked him to fill out a dnr which dad refused, he’s attitude has always been to give things ago, always so thankful to be alive and with his family, then the consultant said we could stop dialysis when ever we thought the time was right, but because we never did, she then decided to tell us dad’s dialysis had to finish by a certain day, so we knew dads death was coming, I feel so guilty and that I let dad down not for fighting more, me and my sister had power of attorney and i just feel so angry with myself for not doing more. And that of the consultant hadn’t stopped dads dialysis he would still be here, I miss him so much, our family has fallen apart when dad was in the hospice, by arguments, my dad has left a massive hole , im struggling, I have no one to talk too about it, I feel so alone

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Hi,
I am so sorry to hear about your dad, Please don’t feel you are alone, there are so many people on here that understand how you feel. I lost my dad in June and I thought there was more I could have done, but now I realise I did what I could at the time. Everyone is so supportive keep talking and posting, I have found it extremely helpful I felt very alone and lost but posting on this has helped me. Keep talking and posting,

Best wishes
Sophie

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Thank you for your reply,
I’m so sorry to hear you lost your dad too, it’s so hard isn’t it, my dad was my hero and it’s just not the same with out him,
I’m glad you found people on here to help you and to talk to,
I knew I couldn’t keep going on how I have been, I feel like I’ve been bottling up all my emotions with no one to talk them over with and to try and make sense of everything, I try to be strong but I go back to feeling guilty, angry and sad