So difficult when you get passed around like that to get anywhere isn’t it? From what you have said your Nan would have known you loved her every day even though you unfortunately didn’t get to see her on the last day. Knowing your Nan like only you did do you perhaps think she wouldn’t have wanted you to see her last minutes? I only ask because I feel sometimes we feel like we should or need to be there but sometimes the person themselves would hate for us to be so upset? Hope that makes sense?
Every time I’ve visited her in hospital she kept saying “I hope your not scared, your not scared are you” I tell her I’m not but when she slept I just prayed that if she had to go that she went while she was sleep & while I was there with her so she wouldn’t die alone but she died alone
She sounds like an amazing lady even at the end her concern was with you! I totally understand the want for your loved 1 not to die alone we made sure my sister was never by herself till we had to leave her. Sounds like you feel guilty for not being with her at the end? If she was still with you what do you think she would feel about you feeling that way? Sometimes it helps to ask ours what out loved 1s would say or want for us! I know I treat myself way harsher than I ever would someone that I love.
She was amazing , not sure what she’d think but she was really upset when my uncle her son that she was caring for died in his sleep & she didn’t get to be by his side especially knowing he died in the room next door while she slept, I know my nan wouldn’t of wanted to die on her own but wouldn’t wanted loads of people around the bed tho as she never liked all the fuss