Feeling so lost

I lost my beloved husband on Wednesday night. He is to young to die at 55. He went to work on Wednesday morning, I packed him off with his soup and lunch. I remember saying to him I was worried about his breathing but he said it was just him. I was out all day on Wednesday with an award ceremony in the evening. I didn’t manage to call him but got home at 9 pm. He was out at bell ringing… I let the dogs out and then heard a knock at the door, it was my neighbour. My husband had been walking home with her husband and was not well. She was asking me to go and pick him up. I drove round, I was in a panic, when I arrived he was slumped on some concrete steps, he was not conscious. I shouted for help and an ambulance, we were asked to commence CPR. We managed to move him and get him flat then started CPR, the ambulance seemed to take an eternity to arrive. They took over but it was to no avail. My beloved husband died. I held his hand and was with him I miss him so much, why has this happened. He was my rock, my soul mate and such a wonderful person.


I am so very sorry. What a terrible shock. Heart attacks are like that but 55 is too young to lose your man. If it is very cold it can cause stress. Did he have a heart condition?

My most sincere condolences.
You will grieve a long time but I am afraid it is part of life. Why everyone comes here.



I am so sorry for your most tragic loss. You will be in shock and thoughts and emotions will be running round your head probably with no answers or sense.
Life without your husband will be difficult but all of us here have been through the trauma of losing our loved ones in various ways so you may find support and comfort from sharing your feelings as you navigate through your grief.
Sending you much love
Jen x


Thankyou, his dad died at 54 the same way, familial tendency I guess. His mum 85 yrs survives him, so has been through this before. It was so very


cold that night.

Aw I feel for you I list my partner to a set 3 weeks ago.we have to carry on living we have to find a way to live a life without them .I am returning to work on Monday 1 step at a time

So sorry to hear of your terrible loss in this way and so young. My husband was only 60 and died suddenly too in April last year, but I wasn’t with him so didn’t have the trauma of trying CPR.

I hope you will find some support on here. At least you know we understand each other having also lost the love of our lives.
Sending love.

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Thank you, Karen… it all feels surreal… i keep thinking i am dreaming … i keep thinking i will wake up soon… i know it is reality, and i guess that is a bit of denial … i keep.tidying everything up so it’s tidy ready for him to come home…
We have a date for the funeral… It’s a little way off … because the PM took so long to happen, and then we had xmas and new year…

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@MinnieImber I had quite a wait before Richard’s funeral too. PM and a wedding which involved a lot of people who would want to attend meant five weeks between his death and funeral.
That felt such limbo and was the longest my husband had ever been away from our village.

At least it meant we had enough time to be sure what we wanted for his funeral, which felt right, but it was a time of disbelief.

I hope you can have the kind of service you feel is right. xxx

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Thank-you Karen… I feel very similar in the sense it gives me time to have exactly what I want … it does feel as if I am in limbo, however I have had so much support from friends and family. We have three dogs (oldest 16, youngest 2) so they are keeping me busy and give me something to focus on each day… I find the walking a great time for reflection … I don’t mind the wind or the rain … they have been a godsend for me …

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I am glad you have support. I did too and still have. I live in a small village and the people here have been amazing, as have my family and my brother and sister in law.

Having a focus in your pets will help so much. I have a 24 year old daughter with extra needs as well as an older one who is getting married this year. A lot to live for which helps.

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Dear Karen, That sounds good… neither ofbus had a choice about what happened. However, i believe we do have a choice as to how we try to navigate our pathways to a new reality. That pathway will take curves we dont expect, which will knock us , but my beloved Gavin would not want me to be sad. He would want me to try and live both our dreams… as you say, there will be things to look forward to … big hugs xx

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