Feeling so sad

My husband died in feb after being treated for incurable lung cancer 2 years earlier.
For months I’ve had the odd low but I’ve really just felt numb or that he would come home at any moment.
My dad passed away 18 months ago and since losing my husband I’ve been sorting his flat so feel like I’ve been surrounded by all the loss I’ve had in my family, but still I mostly just feel numb.
Now that everything is done and the shorter days are here I think it’s starting to hit me. I have no energy at all, I feel ill all the time with migraine or stomach issues and a lot of anxiety. I feel so alone, with the exception of my daughter I have no other close family and my in laws are miles away. After Xmas my daughter is going travelling, something I think she needs to do but it adds to my feeling of isolation and loss.
I miss my husband so much, I miss having a hug, someone who really cared about me and I miss caring for him, hugging him. My husband was only 61and I feel so sad that he’s missed another summer, his friend’s wedding and seeing our daughter set off on a new adventure. And I feel guilty that I get to do that but he doesn’t.
No real question but more a need to share with others who know how awful this is.

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Hi @Lucy55
I know exactly how you feel. I think most people know too.
It has been 5+ months for me and no two days the same. I miss him so much he had no illness it was sudden and unexpected we had just got back from an Australian trip in Feb and he was gone in Jun.
I know the upset sadness and loneliness we all experience. I guess we always will trying to find ways to deal with it is something else.
I take day at a time and cant plan ahead anymore. Life is short and we need to live i the moment.
Take care
Lnne x

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I’m so sorry I know it’s so hard for us all. I take comfort from this community as we all understand the pain and loneliness
Take good care

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