Finding it hard to carry on

I lost my beloved husband of 49 years 8 weeks ago, just 7 weeks after he was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia. He’d had the first round of chemotherapy but got an infection which they couldn’t control. The last few weeks of his life were dreadful and he ended up on a ventilator in critical care. Sadly he didn’t recover and we had to agree to them removing the ventilator. The shock has been enormous but I’m now torn between being scared of the future without him and trying to get the vision of his final weeks out of my mind. We were so happy together and I feel like I’ve lost part of my body. I know he would want me to carry on but I’m still crying every day whilst trying to cope with the paperwork etc. I hope things will start to get better.

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@Dap so sorry for your loss. My husband had cancer and it was quite a traumatic time but nothing compared to what you have been through. Yes things will get better. I’m 22 weeks on this journey and although heartbroken I am starting to make a future for myself. It takes time. In the early weeks I never thought I could even get to this stage so hang in there. I hope there are better days ahead for all of us. Take care.

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The admin and paperwork is brutal in the early days just when you are least able to deal with it. Lost my husband of 50 years in June. It was not expected. Dead within 2 weeks of diagnosis. Said he wasn’t healthy enough for chemo but could not stop the internal bleeding anyway. I am gradually getting better but it is very hard those early days. I hope you have lots of support. Xx. Sandra

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