Finding it hard to cope

I lost my grandad on the 1st September 2016 and his funeral was on 21st September… i am finding it so hard to cope every moment of the day i am breaking down i just dont know what to do… my grandad suffered from emphysema for many years and the day before his death was told by the doctor his heart was failing we all knew it was coming i am just finding it so hard to cope. on the day of his death i got up and went to see him to say i would see him after work he smiled and nodded at me within an hour of me getting to work i had a call from my nan to say he had gone… the district nurse had said he had passed away between the times of 0630 am and 0730 am i had left for work at 0615… i am really struggling as i was so close to him seeing him upto 4x a week … i saw things a normal 24 year old should never see i held his hand at the chapel of rest and gave him my final kiss… i just miss him so much i dont know what to do it feels like a part of me has been ripped out i am finding it difficult to eat and sleep i have one of his tshirts that i cuddle but it doesnt change how i am feeling.

Hi EmmaJane24,

I’m so sorry to about the death of your grandad. It sounds as though you were really close to him and are feeling devastated.

I wanted to let you know that Han6277 is a similar age to you and has lost her nan recently - perhaps it would help to chat to her? You can read and reply to what she wrote here: https://support.sueryder.org/community/end-life/struggling-big-time

I’m glad you have found this site, and I hope it helps a little bit to be able to share things with people who understand what it’s like to lose a loved one.