Hi everyone. Firstly, let me say I’m sorry for your loss, whoever you’ve lost that brings you here. I lost my partner on 11th Feb ‘23 following a massive heart attack. He was 51. We had only been together one year, but known each other since we were kids. I met him shortly after leaving my husband as I was in an unhappy marriage. I didn’t truly know happiness or love until I met my late partner. We did everything together, moving in with each other after only 7 months. It just felt right and we made so many plans for the future. However, he had his demons and suffered from bipolar disorder and he was particularly low in mood the last month or so before he died. When he died I had to look through his phone and found that he had been staying in hotels when he was supposed to be elsewhere. I don’t know who with but the booking was for 2. Now all I can do is fixate on this rather than remembering the good times. Everyone I meet says how much he loved me and that they’d never seen him happier (he was in a dark place before I met him), and he said the same. But I’m now questioning this. His funeral is tomorrow and I have so many thoughts in my head that I feel I’m going to explode. I’m 45 and feel I now have no future, not a happy one anyway.
Don’t be misled by the hotel issue,I have lost count of the times I’ve booked a room for myself only to see it showing on the invoice as a room for two. Even some online sites only show a room for two.
most hotels state 2 in a room and you book it for that cause its cheaper, doesnt mean you have anyone in there with you. i have done it in the past several times, if they ask you tell them the person is already there or left a bit early
@yorkshire well please try to put bad thoughts out of your mind because otherwise the rumination will drive you mad . Maybe your partner simply wanted space , booked these rooms and out of embarrassment of admitting it was just for himself, he said he was making a booking for 2 . There’s a certain amount of shame admitting that you’re wanting ( for whatever reason) to stay away but you don’t have anyone to stay with . It’s easier to just say oh yes it’s a booking for 2 . I do realise that your thought process must be running riot at the moment but I would try your absolute best to remember your beloved partner with love and put this down to his disordered thoughts because of bipolar . I have a similar MH issue and if I was booking something alone , I think I’d pretend that someone else was joining me rather than admit I might be lonely and alone . I know it’s an odd explanation, but it’s something that I think is very plausible with this sort of disorder. I am so sorry that your partner has died - I lost mine in January 2023 very suddenly. I tried to resist going through all his personal things as much as I could because I know I overthink. Once you see something, it’s so easy to create a full story around what you’ve seen . Then you start doubting all sorts of things . I am sure there’s a good explanation for 2 being on invoices as opposed to 1 as others have pointed out as well . Take care xxx
Thanks everyone, your replies make a lot of sense. He was really struggling recently with his mental health and did say that he needed his own space from time to time when he got that way. Either way, I can’t change the past but I would like to be able to make peace with it. We had his funeral yesterday, I was overwhelmed how many were there. There were people standing outside it was so busy. And each person I spoke to (which was a lot) said how much happier he was after we’d met, and how highly he spoke of me. I am trying to take comfort in that, I just need these little demons in my head to leave me alone 