The first year of losing my Father is drawing to a close, with the approaching anniversary of his sudden death.
I find my self thinking back to last May/June. How I wish I’d known how precious these days were , how I miss the wisest man I’ve ever known and how so many things have changed since he left us.
Relationships with some of my siblings have broken down, my health continues to deteriorate, young family members are growing up not knowing my Father’s wisdom or love. Some days it’s overwhelmingly sad and the pain is so bad. I find my Dad in a song, in a tune, in the flowers that are blooming without him.
I’d give anything for one more conversation, I hope he knew how much I loved and admired him. I’ve changed a lot in a year, I’m more reflective, more inclined to be less reactive and quieter.
The pain of losing your parents (my mother died shortly after my father), puts so many things in perspective.
Does anyone have a particular way of remembering a parent around their anniversary?
Hi @Annie139
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support and share their thoughts, but I just wanted to say thank you for so bravely sharing this with us. Keep reaching out,
Naoise
I know what you mean about younger family members growing up without his wisdom. My dad taught code club voluntarily at my nephew’s primary school, and my nephew has recently chosen his GCSE options to include computer science 
. My dad would be positively beaming, and he’d be looking forward to working with my nephew, supporting him but ultimately learning together. 
On my Dad’s birthdays (there’s been 1 since we suddenly lost him) I make a handmade birthday card and pop it on his urn. I also take the day off work, if it’s a working day.
Edit: sorry, I was multitasking. I now realise you said anniversary and not birthday. The anniversary, me, my mum and my siblings sat together 
.
@Annie139
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I too, have lost both my parents to cancer, much before their time. My amazing dad in 2008 and my wonderful mum in 2017. We were always a very small, close-knit family, very loving and supportive of each other, with family values at the heart of everything. I always looked up to and admired my parents, even now, and I’m 58. They had such a beautiful and very loving relationship. They were wise and patient, thoroughly decent people tbrough and tbrough. They were, and always will be, my guiding beacons. My dad’s passing was tragic and so sad, but I still had my mum, and I tried very hard to be strong for her and to support her as much as I could. Having said that… my mum was never the same again. The special bond and love they shared was just too strong for her to ever be able to recover from his loss. When I lost my mum in 2017, my world collapsed. It hit me like a tonne of bricks… I was now an orphan. The people who had always been there for me throughout my entire life were now gone forever. There isn’t a single day that goes by where they are not in my thoughts and I carry them always in my heart. I live my life by the values they not only taught me, but demonstrated daily in the way that they lived their lives… kindness, gentleness, loyalty, truth, consideration for others, respect, patience, generosity, reflection and so, so much more. They were very special people and I try so hard to follow their example. I have a memorial/serenity area at home, in my spare bedroom, dedicated to them, with a beautifully framed photograph of them on their wedding day, some beautiful pillar/church candles and tealights, which are on timers, a heavenly angel figuerine, some beautiful christian icons and a small posy of white and green flowers in a crystal vase. It’s very beautiful, calm and peaceful. A place of remembrance and refection. It’s how I choose to honour their memory. I also visit the cemetery regularly and always make sure that their graves are maintained, well cared for and there are always fresh plants and flowers according to the seasons of the year. As I said previously, this is how I choose to honour their memory, but in all honesty, they are always with me, every single day, in my heart and in my thoughts. They were amazing people and wonderful parents. I feel it’s the very least that I can do for them. It gives me a sense of peace and calmness and I feel close to them. For me… it’s a respectful and appropriate way of keeping their memory alive, but everyone is different, and I hope and pray that you will find a way to remember and honour the memory of your mum and dad also. My thoughts are with you. Sending you love and hugs. They will always be with you 
xx
Thank you, heart of gold. I’m just overwhelmingly sad .