My Son , my only child died 8 months ago , it’s hard to see through the sadness most days and the thought of this Christmas fills me with dread . I have always gone to town over Christmas decorations and as a little boy my son loved it and as he got older i think he enjoyed laughing at how much i still was a huge fan of Christmas , every decoration came out and something in every room , writing this now i feel heart broken at the thought of him not being here , i don’t know what to do , do i decorate as i always do to honour my son and keep this connection alive , or do i just lock them away forever which is the way i feel i want to do , how do i get through this year , i am struggling each day , people and say it gets easier , it doesn’t seem that way , i can’t look at any pictures of him without crying , thank you to who ever reads this
I’m so sorry you have lost your boy .
I lost my son 15 weeks ago so I understand your pain .
We won’t be putting any decorations up this year and are escaping to the coast for the Christmas period .
We will just be walking the dog on the beach and thinking about our son .
You will do whatever you feel is right . If it feels too raw and will be too upsetting putting the decorations up maybe leave it this year .
Next year you may feel differently.
There is no right or wrong in this hell that is grief
xx
So sorry you have lost your son , the pain is all consuming at times and sometimes not so bad , walking a lot has helped with my thoughts and Christmas is just another hurdle i know , and your right i will decide what’s best for me and my husband this year , thank you for you reply ,
My remaining son wants to put decorations up so I have said yes to tree only. His girlfriend is staying for an extended break as well so at least he will have someone and not me moping. Its my turn to have my parents and I know my dad is very worried about me. All food will be pre prepared. Every one of his 21 years he sat on my bed to open his stocking, we had such a set routine as he liked routines.
It’s all just seems too much , i really want to just lock the doors and hide away , get through this 1st year without him. My husband says i must do what ever i feel comfortable with , i really just want him too tell me what to do , i don’t know anymore
I’m going to hibernate, I do most of the time as I literally can’t be arsed with people who want to find out my business, especially about my son who overdosed on drugs. Only people on here understand the heartache we go through xx
I don’t think our bereaved minds can make decisions any more . I really struggle even deciding what to wear !
Me too, although I have had a good few days over the last few weeks, but today I feel annoyed as why did he take those drugs, I had 14 years of a rollercoaster with my son, from drink to drugs, but under it all he was kind, caring, loving and thoughtful. I love and miss him so much, but fed up with people judging me. They can do one as far as I’m concerned. Oops rant over xx
Its so easy for people to judge , but let them spend time in your shoes now , it will make them think before judging you , however you lose a child its a loss thats hard to understand why it had to happen , my heart goes out to everyone who has lost a loved one and particularly a child xx
I understand the need to stay away from the world , its very rural where i am and i can go weeks and not see anyone if i don’t want too , and to be honest thats what i do i am definitely more of a recluse now , my walks daily help my mental health but the bam you get slapped in the face with the realisation that you will never see your child again , its a bad day today
I live in a small village on the coast, so I can escape easily out to the cliffs. I walk every day and started back swimming again. I like to be a recluse. So called friends are not the same to me, never mention my son, like he didn’t exist, makes me angry and upset, so easy option ignore them. They don’t have a clue what we go through xx
Im a in vilage but not walked from my door yet, even one of my neighbours turns away and looks busy, though i am grateful yo them all, they saw the police car outside my house at 2am and by 3am they were searching. My husband drives us away s
And i do the same 1 mile route each day, i used to walk 5 miles a day before
I still haven’t walked on my own yet, and only go for a swim on my own and that takes a lot sometimes. My neighbours would great when they saw the police driving my car, and the police wagon, then the police back again. Today I’ve been busy out in the garden but feel annoyed that my son took those drugs….why again. I know addiction is an illness, but he was offered help, private re hab, this has ruined my life forever xx
My son who I lost in March was my only child. It’s so hard never ending pain, and so many why questions I find, as soon as you say addict to the outside world of this forum I feel you are judged as a bad Mum, something I never was, we had our ups an downs, but I was always there for him regardless of the situation. I just can’t be bothered with other people. This is my lifeline and every one on here is so kind and understanding, I feel we are all here to help each other, give a bit of advice if we can and listen to each other xx
My heart goes out to you all. Grief is a long, lonely journey. I lost my darling son a month ago. He loved Christmas, in his effects I found a list he had written of what he was going to get me this year. It broke my heart. Im going to volunteer if I can to try and help people in need. I can’t do the tree or decorations this year, it’s too soon. Maybe one day life will have some meaning again