First few days

Yesterday I lost the only adult human I ever needed. Made so much worse that he was taken ill in South America whilst visiting his child and died yesterday. We agreed on cremation, but it’s today. Not being near him and everything happening out of my control, I’m lost…just totally empty.
Everyone here is so sad, it’s all just so awful.

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Hi Joker
Yes there is much emptieness, lonlieness and tonnes of sadness as well as anger, frustration and longing. Longing for that one person we know we will never have with us again. There is not a thing we can do about it and it feels like the everything has gone. Not wanting a life without them or not seeing a life. Its a matter of taking each day as it comes dont expect much from yourself and dont push yourself to move forward to please others. It does get easier to a degree we learn to live with the new now we did not choose.
As the weeks and months pass things begin to fit much like a new dress or suit that we grow into and we begin to wear it in a way we never thought we could. Sometimes the dress is all screwed up, then we might want to rip it to pieces and then we might wear it well.
Its a bumpy ride with no end and occasionally we get to stop off at the beach for a while.

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Hi Joker, I am so sorry about what has happened and you will feel that you have no control. Tillwemeetagain has said it all, take baby steps and don’t rush. In time you will feel that life can be ok, don’t expect it to be the same. Take extra care of yourself because at present you are very vulnerable. S xxx

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Thank you so much for your lovely words. I had a lovely fire in the garden for him and sat in his hammock. I tried to think about happy times but feeling so desolate overwhelmed me. It’s minute by minute right now.

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Baby steps is all we can take for now.
I am always hopefull that as time passes the happier memories will overtake the thoughts of sadness that for now are always lurking.

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